Life doesn’t seem the same without Amma

It’s a year since Amma passed away. Today, we her family remember her with loads of love and gratitude. We miss her so very much.

After thatha’s passing, Amma became the matriarch of the family. She was the sounding board when we had to make important decisions. She was the one we turned to for guidance and advice.

The house doesn’t seem the same without Amma. Family gatherings are not complete without her. Even now, after one year when we sit together for meal, we almost pause for a while, waiting for her to come and join us.

Family was everything to Amma. When each of her children married and brought in their spouses to the family, we became her children too. She never ever treated us differently to her own. Every New Year and every birthday, she made sure to give us each, the exact same gift. Be it a piece of jewellery or a saree it had to be the same. My daughter Thilini tells a story how Aththa and she went to a shop in India and how Aththa wanted to buy pearl necklaces for us. Unfortunately the shop had only two that were of the same length. Much to Thilini’s embarrassment, she says Aththa insisted that the shop keepers find another that was of the exact length. Apparently they had to send someone to another shop to get the required item to satisfy Amma. Many a time, my sisters-in-law and I have been seen going around in identical clothes, much to the amusement of the rest of the family.

Her grandchildren were her pride and joy. It is really sad that she missed important events in their lives that happened since her passing. She missed the graduation of one who obtained her master’s degree. She missed the ceremony where one took oaths as a lawyer. She missed another graduating from university. Most of all she missed the exciting news when not one but two of the girls got engaged to get married. Had she been with us, Amma would have been in her element, helping to plan the weddings of the girls as it was her ardent wish to see the five girls married!

We have planned a pirith ceremony to invoke blessings on Amma. I hope she will be happy with the arrangements. Since she enjoyed entertaining, we have invited her relatives and friends for a meal, to celebrate Amma’s life. I hope Amma is happy wherever she is. All of us, her children and grandchildren feel blessed to have had Amma in our lives.

Our wish for Amma is that her journey in samsara be a short one and at the end, may she attain the supreme bliss of Nirvana.

Ruchira Kodagoda