The homefront whether children or domestics all came under her loving care
I sat down several times to write about my mother (Amma) who passed away a year ago. I never imagined that it would be so difficult and painful. If she was still alive, she would have been 91 years old on April 16.
Amma was born on April 16, 1928 in Kandy, to a respectable Kandyan family. Her parents were Punchi Banda Ratnayake and Tikiri Kumarihamy Bambaradeniya.
My mother studied at Hillwood College, Kandy and was a boarder, although her parents were living close to the College. She really enjoyed being a boarder and used to regale us with stories about her boarding life. During her time, all the students had to wear saree. She was a good tennis player and even playing tennis, she had to wear saree. Amma was very proud of her school and admired the then Principal Soma Kumari Samarasinghe immensely and always said that she was a good disciplinarian. As she was good in mathematics, she had the opportunity of teaching the subject for a short time.
In 1953, she married my father, Asela (Stanley) Navaratne. He was a Divisional Revenue Officer and rose to become the Government Agent, Colombo in 1978. My mother looked after the homefront including my sister and I. When both of us were schoolgirls, she became the librarian at the Kandy Girls’ High School. She really enjoyed working, and always encouraged students to read and resurrected the library which was not functioning.
Whenever my grandparents were ill, she took care of them, until my aunt came back from school to relieve her. Her care extended to when they were in hospital. When my three cousins were born at the Kandy Nursing Home, my mother used to stay overnight with my aunt. Akka and I used to grumble as we were young and lonely without her, but she always disregarded our complaints and thought it was her duty to look after parents, relatives and siblings.
My paternal grandmother died when my father was 13 and he and the other siblings were looked after by their grandmother (my great grandmother). She was looked after by my mother with love and care when she was ill towards the latter part of her life. My mother never complained as that too was considered by her as her duty.
She used to worry whenever Akka, I or the domestics fell ill. For Amma, there was no difference between us and the domestics when it came to care and wellbeing. I remember, one of the male domestics had contacted scabies and the doctor advised Amma to send him home as the condition was contagious. She ignored the doctor’s advice and applied the anti-scabies creams herself, bathed him and washed his clothes, without asking the other domestics to do so, until he was completely cured. None of us developed scabies. I think that is the reason, that when she was ill towards the latter part of her life, there was no dearth of domestics to look after her at any given time. They were all grateful to her, because she was so good to them.
Our house was like a tuition class in the evenings. Amma used to help us in Mathematics. While she was helping us, she taught the domestics how to read and write. They hated the classes as they had to do homework. Amma used to tell them- “At least you must know how to sign.” Amma bought books for them. One domestic used to write letters to us and was able teach her son to read and write. He ultimately became a banker.
Amma was never envious or jealous and encouraged many, including our neighbours’ children to do well in their chosen field. A neighbour’s child, who came for Amma’s funeral told me that Amma was the best aunty in the neighbourhood. She used to speak to them when going to school down our road, and later in life when they were going for work. For her everyone was alike. Amma together with Daddy did charitable work in silence and helped many.
Amma was fond of gardening and supervised the construction of our Kandy house and did the landscaping, as my father was busy working. She was a good cook and she taught all the domestics how to make a good meal without any skimping.
She used to give everyone sound advice, including me. I think the credit should go to Amma and Daddy for my achievements in the academic and professional fields.
She led a simple life and chose to live in Kandy, her hometown, in her old age, in the house she built. The house is empty and the balcony that we used to sit on and enjoyed during the weekend is deserted. But her memory will live in our hearts forever.
Amma, I am proud of you and Daddy, and I will never forget what wonderful people you were to our family, relations, friends and others who associated with you.
The only promise that I can give you is to try to lead the Buddhist path that you lived in, following the teaching of Lord Buddha which you always believed in, and help others when they are in need.
May your journey in Samsara be short, smooth and painless, until you reach the ultimate goal of Nibbana, according to the Buddhist teaching that you always believed in.
Your youngest daughter, Anusha