‘American immortals’ discuss Gota’s fate
High over Washington’s Capitol Hill, ‘The Immortals’—a select group of dead presidents--- were having an emergency meeting with the participation of lesser mortals like living presidents and some chosen bureaucrats. Members of ‘The Immortals’, though long dead hover over Washington skies watching over American interests.
A founding father of the American constitution, Thomas Jefferson presiding, declared: America, still the most powerful and leading democracy in this planet, is facing a threat of being besmirched and it’s our duty to protect American democracy. Halfway around the world in a small country, a person is threatened with disqualification as a presidential candidate because he is alleged to be an American citizen. This has been a free country where a person can walk in and be an American citizen. He can also walk out of this country and renounce his citizenship. I suggest that our incumbent president Donald Trump issues a declaration that this person, ‘Gotta Rajpaks’, or some name like -- I have been long dead and not familiar with new names -- is no longer an American citizen to enable him contest the presidency of his country.
Donald Trump: You immortals high up in the heavens can afford to pose off as liberals and bleeding hearts. But I’ve got a mandate from the people to keep: Make America Great Again. And I am gonna do it. You can’t let anyone from those ‘…. Hole Countries’ come in here, get employment and citizenship while sending money home and then kick away citizenship of the greatest country in the world. That’s not the way to make America Great.
Barack Obama: The former speaker while he was an ordinary citizen objected to me contesting presidency saying that I was not born in America but in Kenya. Now this guy says he was born in Kataluwa, down South in Matara Sri Lanka. So why not declare him persona non grata and let him be a president elsewhere?
Trump: I am not preventing him being declared a non-citizen. It is the Department of Immigration which is not declaring him as a non-citizen.
Nancy Pelosi: Why don’t you issue an Executive Presidential Order?
Trump: Crazy Nancy, you think that I will fall into your Democratic trap and be accused of interfering in the internal affairs of foreign nation like you are doing on Ukraine on me?
George W Bush: This guy Gotta and his family are no friends of America. They have been preventing that lovely Sri Lankan guy, a very good friend of US, Ranil Wicks, from becoming president.
The Commies over there call him Yankee Wicky, like his uncle who was a pro-American President and was called Yankee Dicky. This Gotta and his brother when they were thrown out of power in a democratic election five years ago accused the US of engineering a coup along with Indian leader Modi. So why help restore an anti-Yankee regime there?
This country has three strategic ports vital for naval supremacy in the Indian Ocean. Yankee Dicky, President Jayewardene offered the best—Trinco— but we declined.
President Ronald Reagan: I didn’t want it particularly because the natives were hostile and I managed with Diego Garcia to drive out the Soviet Union from Afghanistan. Besides, we were seducing Mother India and weaning them away from the Russian commies. That’s how the Injuns in the East who were allies of the Ruski Commies are our buddy-buddies today
Donald Trump: True, true. Indians are lovely. Modi is lovely. I love Indians who were earlier called ugly Indians and they called us Ugly Americans. Now we are both lovely. Modi and I are both lovely.
Abe Lincoln: Can we shift from this adoration of beauty and love making to the subject of Gotta. We have to demonstrate to the world that having been or being an American should be no disqualification to be a president of a country.
Donald Trump: This matter should be left to India, the Indian leader is my friend and we are great friends. He is our regional ally and he should decide first and we will follow.
Barack Obama: But the Chinese are already there. Xi Jinping and the Rajapaksa are in cahoots. They owe the Chinese billions of dollars and whichever party wins the Sri Lankan election will be carried away by the Chinese tide. Besides, Ranil’s party now under a new leadership have also have kissed and made up with the Chinese. And elections are only a few days ahead. So why not wait and be wise after the event.
Thomas Jefferson: That is a very good proposal and serves American interests Does the House agree? OK ‘Ayes’ have it. meeting postponed till next Saturday.
Abe Lincoln: Can we shift from this adoration of beauty and love making to the subject of Gotta. We have to demonstrate to the world that having been or being an American should be no disqualification to be a president of a country.