A rose with a sandalwood soul

“Sandun gase saman walak ethenne.

Nadun wanaye sihil suwaya soyanne”

I thought of starting with the above two lines which were the same lines used by my grandfather to address my much-loved grandma Mulin Kurukulanatha. I wonder how he could have been so accurate about her from the very beginning of their lives. Maybe it was because of their everlasting bond.

Mulin was born in 1939 in Moratuwa to a Catholic family, the second child of Mr. Pieris and Roselin Perera. She lost her father in her early childhood. She had just one elder sister. She grew up studying in a convent where she enriched herself with an English medium education. Through her childhood and her teens, she became this amazingly beautiful person not just in her outlook but also within, humble and charming with an unusual sense of kindness.

She started her career as a stenographer at the Social Services Department where she met her eternal love. Thissa Kurukulanatha came from a respectable Buddhist family, also living in Moratuwa. In 1963 before marriage she became a Buddhist. It was not so difficult for her to change as she had such a pure personality. They had two daughters-Danthika and Vishaka. She served in the Forest Department for years, where she was much loved by her colleagues for her simplicity and warm-hearted personality.

She was a supportive spouse to her husband and an influential mother to her two daughters. She had amazing creativity in whatever she did. Whoever ate her food even once would never forget its taste. She used to sew elegant dresses for her daughters and later pretty little suits for us; her grandchildren.

Her husband was an honourable personality who was a family counsellor and volunteered in social service. He was the founder of the Educational Social and Cultural (ESCO) Organization which became ‘the torch’ for the disabled to discover their hidden skills. He made the platform for the disabled to open up and show their talents nationally and internationally cooperating with VSA arts and John F. Kennedy Center, USA. In 1990 he and my grandmother visited Japan with a troop of disabled people, on a special invitation from VSA arts. His infinite capacity for caring for the poor and disabled would not have been a success but for her support to him as a life partner. She was always there for him, through thick and thin.

Even after he passed away, she continued his social and welfare work, holding the position of Secretary-General of ESCO for a few years. In 2019 she received an honourable mention at the Divisional Conference of the Civil Social Organization; praising her years of unconditional service to the society as being the strength to her husband and also her dedication and support at continuing his work.

When it came to relationships, she never used the suffix ‘in-law’. She was a loving elder sister to her husband’s four younger siblings and mother for her two daughters’ husbands. She always loved and cared for them as her own. In turn, she also was not an ‘in-law’ -they treated her with utmost love and respect.

After my grandfather passed away she used to live with her elder daughter who is my mother. I would spend time with her more often and she became my confidante.

I am honoured to be a granddaughter of such a versatile lady, and I am so lucky that I was old enough to appreciate all her qualities. She used to share memories of her past with me. By that time, she was a fond mother-in-law of two doctors and a proud grandma of five grandchildren.

She was happy. She was so peaceful, calm in her walk and always with a pleasant smile. She lived perceiving the reality and tolerating uncertainty. She was not selfcentered but always gave priority to the happiness of others. She always accepted and loved others for what they were. She did not try to change anyone as every person is beautiful in their own way.

To quote her exact words ‘taste differs’. She used to deeply appreciate even the smallest things in her life. She lived life to the fullest. But the time came. On May 31, as usual, she was holding my hand, smiling like a rose. I left her in bed as she was sleepy, not knowing that I would not be able to hold her hand ever again.

It has been almost three months since she left us. The more we think the more we realize she was a rose with a sandalwood soul inside.

She was as pretty as a rose and she was like sandalwood which imparts its fragrance to the axe which cuts it, without doing any harm in return.

Navodi Gunarathne

(granddaughter)