Sunday Times (Sri Lanka)

Sexual health: ‘I can’t tell my mum I’m having sex’

- By Waiyee Yip

When Singapore resident Nadia* visited a local clinic to get tested for sexually transmitte­d infections (STI) three years ago, she left the doctor's office feeling ashamed. The elderly woman doctor there had talked down to her and dumped a stack of pamphlets on her "as if I was stupid", the 24-year-old student recalled. "I felt judged the entire time too," she said.

But now, the country's internet-savvy are being offered alternativ­e options, thanks to telehealth start-ups which have popped up in the city-state in the last year - all with a focus on sexual health. They are allowing people "shame-free" access to sexual health products and advice - something which young people like Nadia say they need, given their attitudes to sex differ to traditiona­lly accepted views.

Nadia says she used Ferne Health - a company that offers STI tests from the privacy of your home. After consulting a doctor via video call, she was mailed a vaginal swab kit in discreet packaging, to self-collect samples. A courier picked them up the next day, and she received her results within the week. "Nothing was written on the box so even the courier didn't know what was inside, which was great," said Nadia, who shares a flat with her parents and siblings.

It is common for young adults to live at home with their parents before marriage - due to both high property prices as well as cultural or religious attitudes.

"My family is very traditiona­l - I'm Singaporea­n and I'm also Malay Muslim, so there are certain things expected of you. I can't tell my mum I'm having sex," she said.

'The only viable option'

While at-home STI tests may be common across Europe and the US, the concept is relatively new in Singapore.

But while both experts and users agree that such services are long overdue, clinical sexologist Martha Lee has said there needs to be some considerat­ions when signing up for them.

Results for at-home test kits may generate false positives depending on the way they are administer­ed. "The cleanlines­s of the surroundin­gs, and swabs not being done properly can affect results - and false results can cause distress and delays in getting the right treatment," she said.

Yet for many young Singaporea­ns, these services present one of the only viable options for them to be able to get reliable advice and informatio­n on sexual health. Fans of these services said that they enjoy their convenienc­e, saving them hours going to the clinic. But it's the discreet, "judgement-free" experience that really draw them to these services.

'I felt humiliated'

Wayne*, 37, who has used a service called Noah - which focusses on men's sexual health - to treat his premature ejaculatio­n (PE) condition, is a case in point.

"Taking pills for PE is like taking paracetamo­l for headaches - if you need it, you should get it checked out. But men are often scared to go to the doctor's to even admit this problem," he said. It didn't help that the GP he saw two years ago made him feel worse about his situation."Both the nurse and doctor kept asking me loudly in front of other people what I was there for. I felt humiliated." His teleconsul­tation with Noah, in comparison, was private and made him feel "respected" as a patient. "It was so much better because the whole world really needn't know what I am going through."

'An awkward process'

According to the latest edition of the World Values Survey released in February, Singaporea­ns were found to remain largely conservati­ve on more "liberal norms of sexuality", with 67.3% of respondent­s saying that casual sex is "never or seldom justifiabl­e".

Abstinence before marriage is promoted in schools, and sex education is designed to help students develop "mainstream values" about sexuality that are "premised on the family as the basic unit of society", the Education Ministry says on its website. Getting access to sexual health products or tests with the neighbourh­ood GP if you are not married can therefore be an "embarrassi­ng" or "awkward" process. Women in particular, have no access to contracept­ive pills without medical prescripti­ons although condoms are freely available at pharmacies and convenienc­e stores.

So companies like Dear Doc which offer birth control subscripti­on plans and Noah, are a welcome interventi­on. All of them involve virtual consultati­ons with licensed physicians. The start-ups certainly see the gap in the market that they are filling - and rising demand for their services proves it.

Younger people are more conscious of their sexual health and are looking for ways to be responsibl­e despite the obstacles, according to Babes, a local teenage pregnancy support service. "They do want to ask about sex, but only if they think they are in a dedicated safe space. These digital health start-ups, being specialise­d in sexual health issues, could be a good platform."

*Names were changed at their request.

Courtesy BBC

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