The lessons I learned from my father

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13 : 4 -7

The above Bible passage embodies the life of my father. The loss of my beloved father on September 3 has left a deep void within me. It is a void I have tried to fill with reflections about his life, and how his gentle influence shaped my own.

My father left a lasting impression on many people. To his business associates, he was a conscientious man with a steady hand and forthright manner. To fellow Rotarians, he was a tireless worker for the community who embodied their motto, ‘Service above self.’ To his family and friends, he was a caring, compassionate figure whose quiet wisdom was reflected in the way he lived.

My father was the youngest son of five children of the JMO, Jaffna in the 1950s, Dr. G.A. Amirthanayagam and his wife Mary Teresa. Growing up in that loving family, he imbibed such values as honesty, empathy and treating all with kindness. In fact, I have never heard him raise his voice. He always had a smile on his face, was courteous and displayed a rare humility that came from the love of God.

Many are the lessons I learned from my father. He never thrust his views on others, but whenever he gave advice, it was worth remembering. He often told me that whatever you do, do it to the best of your ability, and never take on too many things, for that would only bring stress and disillusion.

My father was a quiet, unassuming man. However, he was keen that I, his only child, be more outgoing. In fact, he was delighted when I excelled in speech and drama. He believed that these abilities will give me an edge later in life. When I became a well-known face on national TV as a newsreader, he was my best critic. He would carefully follow the bulletins, and when I got home he would advise me on how to improve my delivery. It was always a constructive discussion.

In his professional life, my father achieved a lot. Back in the ’60s or ’70s, he was tasked to set up Consul Expo that promoted our tea, rubber and spices internationally. He then managed Abdul Hussain Jafferjee – a reputed export and trading company – before being appointed a Director of Browns Group and Siedles. He also launched the Sunny Hill coffee brand under Darley Butler.

In 1990, my father started a venture that would mark a turning point in my own life. Partnering with three entrepreneurs from Australia, he founded Holmes Pollard & Stott. He guided me through my early years as CEO, and today I’m the sole custodian of this successful ad agency.

It was in the Rotary movement that my father’s community spirit found expression. An active member since 1976, he held various positions in its hierarchy, including President of the Rotary Club of Colombo West. In his many years with Rotary, he spearheaded a number of projects. Among these was bringing down instructors from the USA to impart English teaching skills to Sri Lankan teachers. It was highly successful, and the Americans stayed for a couple of years, inspiring and training others. He also served as Rotary District Secretary to District Governor K. R. Ravindran, who later became President of Rotary International.

Interestingly, different people called my father by different names, but always in an endearing tone. Born Gratien Andre Premraj Amirthanayagam, he was called Gratien by close friends, business associates and fellow Rotarians. To classmates, he was simply Andrew. His extended family preferred calling him Prem. And to his siblings, he was always Thambi (being the youngest brother in the brood).

I will always carry fond memories of my father. When young, I would accompany him to the stadium whenever an international cricket team visited the country. His deep knowledge of cricket and other sports gradually seeped into me. It proved vital years later when I became a cricket commentator. He also inspired me to serve the community through the Rotary movement. It was a truly fulfilling journey, and two decades after him I too was elected President of the Rotary Club of Colombo West. He took great pride in the fact that I was the 50th President of the club.

My father never hankered after material possessions. Rather, he found meaning and purpose in life’s simple joys, like spending time with the family. He trusted in God and spread love and warmth all around in his own quiet way. My family and I miss him deeply, but we know that his gentle spirit will always remain with us.

In conclusion, I would like to paraphrase Horatio: “Goodnight sweet Dad, may flights of Angels sing thee to thy rest.”