To my father, the guiding light in my life
A Father holds his daughter’s hand for a short time frame in his life, but he holds her heart forever
February 4, 2022 marks the fifth death anniversary of my father, Stanley Jayaweera. A true patriot of Mother Lanka, it seems so auspicious that he passed away 69 years to the day Sri Lanka gained its Independence.
He belonged to a generation of people, now no more, who upheld values and principles. I remember him for the honest, upright and fearless man he was, who never failed to call a spade a spade and execute what his conscience dictated as right.
Having received his education at S. Thomas’ College, Mount Lavinia and Ananda College, Colombo, he graduated from the University of Colombo in 1949. He had a great passion for teaching and embarked on a teaching career soon after leaving University, which resulted in him meeting his life partner, my mother. In 1954 he joined the Sri Lanka Overseas Service and his diplomatic career spanned 36 dedicated years serving in our missions in Singapore, India, Russia, Pakistan and Germany.
Being a man who lived by his ideals and principles, most of what he taught his children was by example. Simplicity was a key characteristic of his personality and we lived in an average SriLankan home and he drove a Volkswagen Golf. Several people who visited us have commented that our house is a perfect example of an honest, government servant.
He wanted all his children to be fluent in our mother tongue and speaking in Sinhala at home was mandatory. When he arrived in Germany as Ambassador, he found the Embassy had its name board only in English and German. He took immediate steps to erect a new board to read in Sinhala, Tamil and German, which contributed significantly to the good relations he cultivated with the Sri Lankan community during his tenure. He firmly believed in wearing the national dress when representing his country and even in the height of winter, he would wear the national dress for all state functions.
He was meticulous in his official duties and took pains to complete his tasks to perfection. Despite his busy schedules, he always found the time to respond to every single note or letter he received, whether it was work related or a personal thank you note.
He had immense compassion for the less privileged. He could understand the pain of the common man very well and wouldn’t hesitate to help them within his capacity. He had the ability to mix with anyone irrespective of their status and shared in the joys of people’s success and sorrow alike. Despite returning Foreign Service Officers being able to select any school to educate their children, he chose government schools for all his children as he was of the strong view that we should be able to mingle with children of all walks of life and not just with Colombo’s elite circle. You could never see him favouring anyone, be it at home or at work. His children or family never received preferential treatment – we received the same treatment meted to outsiders. Even at home no child was given preference above the other.
Similarly, he had a great sense of religious tolerance – although from a staunch Buddhist background he never compelled us to go to temple or observe sil. He extended the true meaning of the Buddhist word, “Ehipassiko” (come and see for yourself) towards all his children. In addition to the statue of Lord Buddha he had pictures of Jesus Christ, several Hindu Gods and Sai Baba in his shrine room believing they all taught good.
He spent his retirement pursuing his favourite passions – teaching and writing. Being a member of the alumni of Colombo University, he offered to teach English free of charge to students once they finished their daily curriculum. When most retired persons would be taking a comfortable afternoon siesta at home, he was going out in the hot sun to teach. Similarly, he taught English voluntarily to the inmates of the Victoria Home for the Disabled in Rajagiriya.
His next passion was contributing to the newspapers on a regular basis on various topics mostly current affairs and unjust happenings in the country. He had an excellent command of English and a great flair for writing and when he put pen to paper the words would just flow. Having a fervent desire to see the country being governed in a free, fair and just manner, he joined hands during his retirement with several retired government officials and academics to form the ‘Avadhi Lanka’ Movement to help formulate guidelines for good governance.
Five years have elapsed since my father’s demise, but to me memories of Stanley Jayaweera from whom I have learnt so much and am very proud to call my father, will never fade. He will remain in my memory not only as the person who was able to mingle with royalty, Presidents, Prime Ministers and the common man alike, but the special person who held my hand and helped me to get up as I took my first steps. Vimuktha Jayaweera