Malli, we had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun

As Thusith’s only sister, I was deeply moved and humbled to read the articles in the newspapers and on Facebook, from people who knew him professionally, commending his sterling qualities and his service to the country. This was also because he had the God-given gift of instant connection with people.

Yet, for me, Thusith was my beloved brother, a loving, kind and gentle human being, who was not only a caring sibling, but a reliable confidant and a true friend until the very end.

And so, for me and my family, living half a world away, the tragedy of losing him in this untimely manner, is unfathomable. For us, the bottom has dropped off our world, and we are left grieving the loss of a much-loved brother, brother-in-law and ‘mami’ to my three daughters.

What people realized when they first met Thusith was that he had a profoundly religious side to him, and everything he did was naturally propelled by his deep reverence for his faith. The respectful, courteous and generous manner with which he treated everyone he met, at work or at home, was testimony to his deeply-instilled faith.

I am overcome by childhood memories as I write this tribute. Thusith was seven years younger than I, and I was the eternal big sister who loved taking care of him and carrying him around in my arms. He was a large baby, and my parents and grandparents were on pins whenever I carried him. I don’t blame them because I did drop him a few times. As he grew to be a toddler, he adored me, and followed me around like my shadow. We played together, ran around together, shared snacks and chocolate. And, moreover, much to Amma’s horror, he read his first letters with me too.

When he was about eight years old, we used to have endless serious conversations on many topics. We were inseparable. And during these long sessions, I realized what a great listener he was. He followed up with many intelligent questions because he was really listening, and not preparing his own argument while I talked.

As kids, we spent our weekends and holidays at Avissawella, our hometown. We enjoyed the rural outdoors, especially swimming and fishing in the nearby stream with our relatives. He loved animals of all sorts, and they used to sense that and inch toward him to be petted. And we had such enjoyable times out in the sunshine. I would climb trees to pluck ripened mangoes and guavas in the garden, while he stood on the ground, instructing me what to do. Now, looking back, that is symbolic. His feet had to be firmly planted on the ground at all times.

From another perspective, we were young partners in crime around the house, vexing Amma no end. One day we bathed our cat, with serious consequences of course, just to prove to Amma that it was clean enough to be carried around. Although it was my genius idea, Thusith did not let me down. He said it was a joint decision.

Thusith had a funny and cheeky side too. His favourite pastime, which he never outgrew in adulthood, was to tease and provoke me so I would scream and chase after him. I was agile and usually ran after him with a bowl of water; the only way to get him. Once he rubbed the pungent flesh of a durian all over my face when I was on the phone, and another time pretended to entice me with a piece of chocolate, and instead, fed me a cube of salty beef Oxo. I was his human serviette, getting food, dirt and grime wiped on my clothes.

As the years went by, Amma was confounded why we had not grown up, while Thaththa tolerated our pranks and yelling with droll resignation; perhaps he enjoyed the laughter and the commotion that filled the house.

Though I moved overseas with my husband after marriage, out of sight was never out of mind with Thusith. In fact, physical separation made us grow even closer. He often reminded Amma not to give any bad news when she wrote to me. He would say, “Don’t make her sad.” Every time I came home with my family, Thusith made sure that there was a steady supply of everything I liked to eat. He knew exactly what I missed overseas.

Later on, I saw Thusith as a loving husband and devoted father to his two children, whose wellbeing was of paramount importance to him.

Each time we spoke on the phone across the miles, Thusith was anxious to know how we all were, and followed up on every single happening in our lives. But he was totally silent about his professional work, especially during the last few years of his life. When I brought up vexing topics, he would calmly brush it aside, saying it was a team effort. He always spoke highly of his dedicated team.

Professionally, Thusith did what he had wanted do since he was 13 years old. He dreamed of becoming a lawyer to represent the voiceless and the helpless in society. And I am so proud he served the country he loved in a sincere and patriotic way, at a most challenging and dangerous time to be an honest public servant. But he always did what he had to do with no fear or favour. During a relatively short career, he followed his dream to the very end, facing all the challenges bravely and quietly.

But 49 years were all we had with this wonderful man, and he has now embarked on a very different journey. But the beautiful memories we have of our time with him, will carry us through, as we bear the cross of his death.

May the angels of the Lord carry him through heaven’s gates and grant him eternal peace!

Farewell my dearest Malli!