Panhandlers refuse a handout from shocked good samaritan

Dear Abby: I spent the afternoon running errands. As I left the shopping centre, I saw a young couple with a baby and a toddler holding a sign requesting help with food, as the husband had just been laid off. I drove past, then considered the children and circled back.

I had no cash with me, so I stopped and offered them our family’s dinner — a jar of premium spaghetti sauce, a pound of fresh ground beef, a box of dried spaghetti, fruit cups that my children usually take to school for treats, and some canned soups I occasionally have for lunch.

Imagine my surprise when the couple declined my generosity.

Instead, the man strongly suggested that I should go to a nearby ATM and withdraw cash to donate to them because they preferred to select their own groceries and pay their phone bills. What are your thoughts on this?

Genuinely Puzzled in Austin, Texas

Dear Puzzled:

What happened is a shame. Some families are truly in need and should be guided to a shelter so they can receive help getting back on their feet. However, in some cities you see the same people on the same streets for long periods of time. They have staked out their ‘‘turf’’, and because the money they are given is tax-free, some of them are doing quite well. In your case, the couple you saw holding the sign may have been professional panhandlers, and the children may have been ‘‘borrowed’’.

Scary movie

Dear Abby: My sister and mother went to a movie recently. My sister became concerned that her husband and kids were locked out of the house, so she quickly took out her phone and texted her husband. It took less than 30 seconds.

A minute later a large man came down the stairs of the theatre, got right in her face and began berating her — telling her she was rude for pulling out her phone. It was so upsetting that she and Mum got up and left.

I understand that she should have stepped out of the theatre to text. However, the man caused more of a scene than her texting did. What makes people think it is OK to treat people badly?

Holly in Kokomo

Dear Holly:

The same thing that made your sister think it was OK to use her cellphone in a darkened theatre. She’s lucky that all she got was a lecture because these days many people have short fuses.

Surprising behaviour

Dear Abby: My husband of 30 years is easily startled. If I enter a room without a warning, he reacts as though he is in danger. He yells: ‘‘Don’t do that, or you’ll give me a heart attack!’’

Since our retirements, this has become an issue. I don’t understand his reaction — he wasn’t in the military, didn’t have a dangerous job and hasn’t been in a disaster. I feel like an intruder in my own home. Your thoughts?

Wife Of A Jumpy Hubby

Dear Wife:

Has your husband always been this way, or is this new? If it’s new behaviour, it should be discussed with his doctor. He may suffer from a hearing loss or some other problem. And because he finds it upsetting, try to accommodate him and not take it personally.