Maid of honour overwhelmed by bride’s demands

Dear Annie: Our daughter was asked to be the maid of honour at her friend’s wedding. She was very excited about it. We planned a small shower for her closest friends and family. Now the bride and her mother have given us a list of 78 women to invite. I checked the etiquette book and found no encouragement for such a large event. The 78 women are also invited to the wedding reception.

We cannot afford such a large shower, and the bride’s parents know it. I do not understand how they could expect us to handle such a large event. Our daughter doesn’t want to lose the bride’s friendship. Should she bow out of the wedding?

Anxious Parent

Dear Anxious:

No bride should demand such extravagant favours. Your daughter should tell her that she cannot manage such a large affair and ask that the guest list be trimmed to 30 women or however many she can afford to host.

Your daughter could also ask the other bridesmaids to host this shower with her, providing more resources and perhaps accommodating a larger guest list.

If the other bridesmaids are not interested or if the bride insists on 78 women, your daughter should offer to bow out of the wedding party. We hope the bride will then understand how unreasonable she is being and back off.

Written off

Dear Annie: I’ve been trying to write a novel for a year. The problem is, I have no support from my family. My wife and friends always groan when I ask them to read what I’ve written. I’m trying to be considerate of their level of interest and don’t want them to be annoyed with me, but I need some feedback on my writing.

That being said, would you know where I could send my pages for review? I’d like to know if my story is interesting the way I’m writing it, or if I need to develop it better.

Amateur Author in El Paso, Texas

Dear Author:

There are various ways to get your written material in front of an audience. You can ask writing teachers to look at it. You can search for a writers workshop or try meetup.com for a writing group that critiques members’ work. You can self-publish (you are responsible for all costs), put it in a blog or on an internet site for free (you will get myriad comments, many worthless, and you’d better have a thick skin), enter a writing contest, or submit a short version to a magazine. You also try a literary agent. An agent will help get your book into the hands of a reputable publisher or reviewer. Getting published is not easy, but if you have talent, it’s possible.