THEY SAID IT

“DON’T OVERLY OPPOSE ME.”

Gen Prayut Chan-o-cha, prime minister and head of the National Council for Peace and Order, says reporters have been writing as if it were 2013, adding that must stop and he reminded them of charm school.

“THE NEW CONSTITUTION MUST BE INCLUSIVE AND ENCOURAGE NATIONAL RECONCILIATION.”

Meechai Ruchupan, head of a second attempt to produce a supreme law up to the standards of the NCPO.

“WE SHOULD PUT UP WARNING SIGNS ON THE BEACHES.”

Withaya Suksom, Samui Jet Ski Club, after the death of a German tourist from a box jellyfish sting.

“I WILL HAVE TO ADJUST MY WORKING STYLE.”

Sakda “Sia” Sae-Iew, Thai Rath cartoonist, promises to ease up on satire about the military regime after a long talk with NCPO officers.

“IT IS AGAINST THE DIGITAL ECONOMY.”

Don Pramudwinai, Foreign Minister, doubts the single-gateway internet will be approved because the military regime would “never make policy counter to the digital economy”.

“CYBER ACTIVISTS SHOULD RESTRAIN THEMSELVES.”

Suwaphan Tanyuvardhana, Minister at the PM’s Office, appeals to stop online protests because the single internet gateway has not yet gone into effect.

“WE WILL CONSIDER INFORMING CUSTOMERS SOON.”

Anonymous executive from The Mall Group, after international hackers from the Lizard Squad stole thousands of customer data records and attempted to hold them to ransom.

“THE BALL IS IN THE THAI COURT NOW.”

Abdalelah Mohammed A Alsheaiby, back in Thailand as Saudi charge d’affaires, with a diplomatic pun hoping for a guilty verdict against five Thais accused of the 1990 murder of a Saudi businessman.

“THE CANCER OF CORRUPTION INFECTS THE UNITED NATIONS AS WELL.”

Preet Bharara, US attorney, after the arrest for corruption of John Ashe, ex-chief of the UN General Assembly and ambassador of Antigua and Barbuda.