THE WEEK AHEAD

MONDAY

The official registration of domestic elephants ends today, part of the government-sponsored project to get animals and mahouts off urban streets forever. Falcon Strike at Korat Royal Thai Air Force Base, the first war games involving the Thai and Chinese air forces, ends today. New Zealand is putting Malaysian diplomat Muhammad Rizalman on trial today, on charges of attempted rape. Diplomatic immunity does not cover such non-official events. Today is the 10th anniversary of Al Gore’s prediction that we had “10 years left to save the planet from turning into a total frying pan”. The 21st United Nations Conference on Climate Change (COP 21) started yesterday in Paris, for several reasons. First and foremost, that 10-year thing didn’t work out. Second, it’s necessary to spew thousands of tonnes into the atmosphere by private plane flights to Paris because people still don’t have time to learn Skype. The United Nations’ Permanent Court of Arbitration winds up hearing evidence in the Philippines’ lawsuit against China over South China Sea islets and atolls this evening. Beijing refused to attend, but the court will rule on the issue anyhow.

TUESDAY

If you’ve been hankering for some rotten rice in the bin, today is your lucky day. Finally, the government is going to auction those 37,412 tonnes of rotten rice. Actually, there is good rice mixed in with the bags of rotten, but Commerce Ministry officials explained (fact check: true) they didn’t have the time to sort it out. It is United Nations World Aids Day, mainly to raise awareness of a disease that is mostly contained but which still can’t be medically prevented or cured. The Battambang criminal court is scheduled to give its verdict on Yem Chrin, 57, the doctor who infected more than 200 villagers with HIV by using dirty needles.

WEDNESDAY

The Thailand International Motor Expo starts today at noon and runs until 10pm on Dec 13 at Impact Challenger 1-3, Muang Thong. More details at www.motorexpo.co.th. This year’s official motto which we could not possibly make up is “Thai Vehicles Care About the Earth”. The Airports of Thailand board will decide today whether to open the badly needed Terminal 2 at Don Mueang airport, or wait until next year for completion of the all-important (translation: revenue sharing) shops. The man responsible for franchising terrorism in Southeast Asia and for linking his Jemaah Islamiyah bombers and killers directly to al-Qaeda will appeal his prison sentence on terrorism charges. The untrained “cleric” Abu Bakar Bashir feels it is unfair to keep an old, feeble man like him in prison.

THURSDAY

Soldiers of the Royal Guard will parade this afternoon in Bangkok to mark His Majesty the King’s birthday. Head out early to watch, or assume the couchpotato position in front of the big screen after 3pm. Researchers and eggheads have been studying “Emerging US Partnerships in Southeast Asia” for a while, and as their grants expire, they will lay out their findings today at a University of Sydney press conference. Spoiler: No country starting with “T” is mentioned. The 8th Asean Para Games start today in Singapore and run to next Monday. Why does the Seychelles hate Thailand? The country is really rubbing it in by holding presidential election in stages, starting today, to show how easy it is.

FRIDAY

The second “migrant summit” of the year in Bangkok will address the coming new wave of Rohingya boat people. The Foreign Ministry said the summit illustrates that “more needs to be done to solve this problem effectively and permanently”. Another day, another meeting of the Airports of Thailand board, this time to discuss when, and by how much to increase the parking fees at the customs-free zone. They tried to put up the fees last month but ran into protests (English translation: threats to get punched in the mouth). There are people who claim it is not exactly terrorism that British band Coldplay will release a new album today, called A Head Full of Dreams. Presumably the lesson of the album is that normal people have a head full of brains.

SATURDAY

It’s only the happiest day of the year. His Majesty will turn 88. The spectacular Art in Heart exhibition begins a two-month show at Dasada, the Flower Es’Senses Resort near Khao Yai in Prachin Buri. Attractions are a 3D-mapping show, light tunnel and dancing fountain. France, which saw six times more people killed in one night of violence than Thailand did in the year leading up the coup to prevent violence, will start regional elections tomorrow. Thailand will not.