THE KILLJOYS ARE WINNING

Officials are starting to take the fun out of events that are meant to be just that, while promising happiness to the people

While the world was in lockdown over the threat of global terrorism this past week, here in Thailand we were in lockdown too, but for different reasons. Our lives were not in danger from crazed AK-47-wielding suicide bombers. Our danger came in the form of banana leaves, joss sticks and a candle.

Four days have been and gone since Loy Krathong last Wednesday night. It feels like a different world now; a slightly calmer place. For the first few days of last week, in contrast, you’d have been convinced the killjoy lunatics had taken over the asylum.

The festival of Loy Krathong is a beautiful ceremony that has been celebrated in this region for more than 800 years. It is a custom in which Thais give thanks to Mother Kongka, a female spirit who represents the country’s waterways. The way to give thanks is to make a small round floating object, or krathong, out of banana leaf, then decorate it with joss sticks and a candle.

It is quite a sight to see hundreds of floating candle-lit krathongs in the river, though the irony of giving thanks to the river by polluting it does not go unnoticed.

I first saw Loy Krathong in the year 1990 on the Chao Phraya River. That was back in the days when we made krathongs mainly out of foam, causing untold headaches for both Mother Kongka and those paid to clean up the next day. Major campaigns to rid the festival of foam, using biodegradable krathongs made of tapioca and bread instead, have made positive inroads. So what’s the problem? The problem is that for a country that prides itself on sanook, or having fun, the powers that be are going out of their way to drain the event of any sanook that is remaining, thanks to their obsession with doom and gloom surrounding the event. In short, they weren’t rejoicing. They were fretting.

Where do we start? How about last Monday night, when the Education Ministry’s Office of Basic Education announced it was joining forces with the Royal Thai Police to ensure nobody got up to mischief during Loy Krathong. Police would be patrolling the rivers, in particular darkened nooks and crannies, to ensure young people were not exploring any of their own anatomical nooks and crannies.

Meanwhile, the City of Bangkok closed a number of jetties and piers. They were too dangerous to hold lots of people, it said, which makes you wonder why they open them for the remaining 364 days a year.

On Tuesday the Culture Ministry came out with its own campaign. The thing about the Culture Ministry is that one would think they would be celebrating this festival, highlighting the positive aspects of it.

Instead it launched a campaign with the title: “Celebrate Culture And Customs Handed Down By Our Forefathers While Preserving The Environment And Exploring Thailand With Safety During Loy Krathong.”

Just reading that makes me understand how it feels being buried under 12 feet of rubble. And to think somebody thought it up and a committee rubber-stamped it. And if the cops had their way, it was the only rubber you were going to see on Loy Krathong night.

This campaign, which for the sake of brevity I shall refer to as CCDHDBOFWPTEAETWSDLK, aimed to educate Thais on the correct way to celebrate Loy Krathong, namely:

1. Float your krathong in a respectful way. How one floats a krathong disrespectfully was not explained. Perhaps, after the project title, they had run out of room. 2. Don’t drink alcohol. 3. Don’t use foam. 4. Adhere to road rules. 5. Don’t light fireworks. At the same time the government reminded people not to light floating lanterns anywhere near airports. The maximum penalty for doing so was death. Yes, the death penalty. Apparently such lanterns can down aircraft, not unlike what Turkey did to that Russian plane.

Are you getting a vibe here, dear reader? Doom. Gloom. Negative. No. Don’t. Such was the vocabulary littering the media prior to the country littering its waterways last Wednesday night. Anybody ignorant of Loy Krathong could have mistaken it for an imminent terrorist attack.

What has happened to Thailand? Didn’t we used to be the good-time gal of Asean? This was not something to be ashamed of. Thais had it right for a long, long time; that sanook was an integral part of any event. In this country the kiss of death for anything — concert, book, TV show, movie, shopping centre appearance — is mai sanook, or not fun. Thais know how to have a good time, and for that I am envious.

And yet somehow “beautiful tradition” has turned into “ominous event that requires the authorities to intervene”. Loy Krathong is not alone in this transformation; it is one of the big three celebrations here, along with Songkran and New Year, that have taken a battering.

The problem is an escalating road toll along with increased drug and alcohol use. These celebrations have turned into blood baths on the roads, where people drink to excess and set off floating lanterns around airports.

Perhaps it is difficult to remain the goodtime gal when your population is dying rapidly on the roads. Being prudish does have its benefits, too, but having been a teenager myself, when authorities tell kids not to do things without any clear explanation as to why, it tends to act as a green light.

Apparently surveys have been done and Loy Krathong rates right up there with Valentine’s Day as the night lots of young couples have sexual relations. Well, it is a celebration after all, and isn’t that what people do to celebrate? But rather than mounting intelligent campaigns educating young people on how to use contraception, and the risks of pregnancy and disease that come with the territory, we instead choose to order young people not to have sex. You may as well order your som tam vendor not to add chilli to the mix.

Thus the beauty and celebratory nature of Loy Krathong gets drowned in ominous campaigns and threats of death sentences.

As we move into the end-of-year festive season, things are looking bleak on the world stage. The US has just announced a top-level terrorist threat alert all the way through to February. This is going to be one of the most unhappy Christmas and New Year periods we have seen in a long time.

And Thailand? Not being in Europe or Americas, we could have had a good time this New Year. We could have even tacitly promoted the place that way, or at least a place to celebrate the culture.

Ironically, this is what the Tourism Authority of Thailand is doing right now with its slogan of “Thainess”. The TAT is acting like a Culture Ministry, while the Culture Ministry is acting like the Royal Thai Police. Now that is sanook.

It is worthy to note that this current military regime took over the country on two very major platforms. One was to eradicate corruption. The other was to return happiness to the people. The former is not looking great thanks to that park in Prachuap Khiri Khan … and the latter? It will be interesting to watch how they return happiness by stamping out all the fun.