Bangkok Post

THE MOST EPIC MISUSES OF ENGLISH

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Despite the start of the Asean Economic Community by the end of this year, we don’t think Thailand is ready for it, English-wise. Need evidence? Check out these misuses of the language by respectabl­e organisati­ons. Day so rong so funnee.

Did someone say Chanel?

In October, we chuckled over a misspellin­g in an episode of the National Council for Peace and Order’s Thailand Moves Forward TV show. While the host interviewe­d ICT Minister Uttom Saonayon and Deputy Prime Minister Prajin Juntong, the large screen behind them showed a fancy graphic detailing, “Geovernmen­t Centralize Content Management System” and “Geoverment Access Chanel”. Channel 7, which produced the show, later apologised, while Chanel must be thankful for the accidental shout-out.

Government­al rubdown

A funny blunder on Prime Minister Prayut Chan-o-cha’s profile page on the Royal Thai Government’s website was spotted in January. Of the several links listed, “Massage of Congratula­tions” stood out — for all the wrong reasons. Nope, clicking it didn’t take you to videos of our Dear Leader receiving manly massages from the leaders of other countries. Instead, it took you to a page where you could — yes, you guessed it right — find messages from other world leaders, congratula­ting Prayut on becoming our PM. We think he can use a massage or two though, seeing how tense he seems to be.

A visit from aliens

In August, a screen capture of a page reading “Career aliens do not”, courtesy of the Department of Labour’s website went viral, because so many people became lost in translatio­n. It was meant to list jobs that foreigners can’t hold under Thai law, but we assume a very drunk translator (or Google Translate) showed up at work, causing such oddities: “17. Work a gold or silver otter” (dress in silver or gold otter costumes to entertain kids?) and “37. The young, and some hand-twisting spiral” (huh?) and “13. Paper hand job” (ouch!). Fortunatel­y, the gibberish has since been rectified. And “paper hand job” actually means “making mulberry paper by hand”. Phew.

 ??  ?? Okay, it doesn’t make much sense but, at least, all the big words were spelt correctly.
Okay, it doesn’t make much sense but, at least, all the big words were spelt correctly.
 ??  ?? If this kind of image pops up in your mind when they say “paper
hand job”, you’re virgin.
If this kind of image pops up in your mind when they say “paper hand job”, you’re virgin.

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