#NoComment

I recently read a great quote: “Maturing is realising how many things don’t require your comment.” Wow. Can I get an amen/ sathu to that?

I grew up in Thailand, the Land of Smiles and Unasked-for Comments, so I can’t speak for other cultures. But here, comments are hurled at you from every direction, sort of like you’re on The

Voice, except you’re not only judged for your singing, but for everything you do.

Here’s an example. I was just, you know, minding my own business at the office canteen, when a colleague I’m not even chummy with approached me, pinched my belly and said out loud, “Girl, you’ve gotten so THICK!”

Um, thank you for noticing? Likewise? What do I say?

On Facebook, the commenting game is even more bizarre. My sister-in-law gave birth to my niece last month, and whenever she posts a picture of her baby girl, I see weird comments from the self-imposed Parenting Experts of the Year. Why is she sleeping on a pillow? Her tummy looks really bloated. Is that rash on her face? She looks too thin. She looks too chubby. That’s a weird name. Why are you giving her a pacifier? Why is she bottle-fed? What happened to good ol’ “aww”? Another ridiculous example, which I experienced firsthand, occurred in a Line group I had been coerced to join, out of politeness and all. At first, I didn’t want to leave, because then it would say “Napamon left the group” and that would have given them a wrong impression that I was annoyed.

No, wait, that would have been the right impression.

Anyway, what happened was a father asked the rest of the group whether medicine A or medicine B was a better choice for treating fever in children. One of the mothers promptly replied, “Oh, I’m so sorry, I won’t be able to help you out this time. See, the thing is, my son never gets sick. He’s super healthy.” As if that’s not enough to make the rest of the group squirm, she then added photos of her son’s healthy meals and went on and on about how he’s sooo good at eating veggies.

If there’s anything I’ve learned from my three decades on this planet, it’s that you don’t always have to open your mouth and let your judgmental side tumble out. You’re not a commentator on a talent show. If you have nothing constructive to say, you’re not going to be fired for keeping quiet. Recite the multiplication tables in your head. Do Kegel exercises. Anything is better than spitting out nasty comments when they are unasked for. And in case you didn’t know, they are ALWAYS unasked for.