Climb every mountain … ford every stream
About 18 months ago, I stood at the foot of Phu Kradung (Bell Mountain) in Loei province, contemplating whether I was capable of making it to the top. The answer came quickly, in the form of a pained look from the wife, which translated quite clearly as “Don’t even think about it”.
I didn’t venture up, but it was not just because of my better half.
I was aware that to reach the summit of this national park requires a steep five-kilometre trek, taking about four hours for normal folks and a lot longer for less athletic people like myself.
In other words, willpower was going to be required.
So I sensibly settled for a standard photo, posing by the gateway, pretending that I was about to courageously embark on a mountain trek, when in fact my next stop would be a nearby refreshment area for a cold Singha beer.
I did actually take a token 10-minute walk up the mountain trail, but that already had me wheezing and sweating buckets and I soon realised the correct decision had been made.
The wife was right once again.
No easy way
What prompted these recollections is that the authorities are proposing a cable car system at Phu Kradung. It really is an old chestnut.
For three decades, the authorities have been trying to find an easy way of getting up the mountain, which is in fact more of a plateau.
The attempt to make Phu Kradung more accessible is understandable in a way. It has long been a sanctuary for elephants, deer, gibbons and assorted wildlife and a feast of flora more associated with temperate climes. Unfortunately, the intrusive advance of tourism has meant there is not so much wildlife running around as before.
But the key aspect about Phu Kradung has always been that it requires a significant effort to reach the place.
Even getting to Loei is something of a challenge. Then comes the long trek which is arduous enough to put many people off — which is probably the whole point. Getting to the top is a real achievement … but it should be done on foot, not by cable car.
Let’s have at least one place not overwhelmed by tourists.
The whirlybirds
One proposal, back in 2003, was to provide a helicopter service for those who couldn’t be bothered to walk. As far as I know, this never got off the ground. For a start there was the obvious disturbing effect the racket of helicopters thundering above would have on the wildlife.
It would have also opened up the prospect of that ubiquitous species “The Day Tripper” descending on the scene, as would also be the case with a cable car. People could board the copter or cable car and drop in after maybe a 15-minute journey, take a few selfies on their smartphones and head back to civilisation having “done” Phu Kradung.
Easy … except it’s not supposed to be that easy.
Some might argue that the present volume of visitors to Phu Kradung makes enough noise as it is. Unfortunately this appears to be the trend for most of the “remote” tourist destinations in Thailand. The further you venture to seek peace these days, the more likely you are going to discover a deafening racket.
Halfway to the stars
Cable cars are not really my cup of tea. Some years ago, I found myself perched in a gondola dangling over Singapore Harbour peering down at the water some 200 metres below and wondering what on earth I was doing there. The wife had talked me into taking a ride on the Sentosa cable car.
Not having much of a head for heights, I wasn’t exactly feeling at home in the gondola, although the wife was perfectly at ease.
It certainly offered spectacular views — well it would have done, if I had opened my eyes. I was certainly not unhappy when we set foot on terra firma again. With all due respect to Tony Bennett, while “little cable cars, climb halfway to the stars” might sound very romantic in I Left My Heart In San Francisco, I settled for Singapore’s taxis after that.
True love
Of course there are a lot braver people around.
A decade ago, 36 Singaporean couples took part in a competition to see how long they could last while perched in one of the aforementioned Sentosa gondolas, with just occasional toilet breaks. Amazingly 19 of these couples survived a whole week. Apart from the humidity, motion sickness and claustrophobia, just imagine spending an entire week with your wife or girlfriend in a space no bigger than a golf cart and no opportunity to storm off in a huff … unless you happened to have a parachute.
Just reward
It is well-known that Leonardo DiCaprio had to suffer extremely hostile physical conditions during the making of The Revenant, including sleeping inside a frozen horse. One suspects it must have been equally gruelling for him sitting in the front row of the Oscars ceremony last week, suffering four hours of monotonous handclapping, doubtful jokes and excruciating thank you speeches.
Even worse, he was waiting to see if he had won the best actor award, while at the same time trying to look perfectly at ease as if the Oscar was the last thing on his mind. For his mental well-being, thank goodness he won it.