THEY SAID IT

“THAILAND REMAINS ONE OF THE SAFEST COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD.”

Tourism Authority of Thailand, adding the country has “a surprisingly low crime rate”.

“THE MEN HAVE CONFESSED TO THE CAMBODIAN AMBASSADOR.”

Statement by the Phnom Penh foreign ministry confirming five Cambodian nationals confessed to attacking the French tourists.

“I RESPECT THE COURT AND ITS DECISION.”

Sorrayuth Suthassanachinda, Channel 3 news anchor, out on bail, on resuming his broadcasts after being convicted in a major fraud case.

“THE PUBLIC EXPECTS CHANNEL 3 TO DEMONSTRATE RESPONSIBILITY.”

In a statement, the News Broadcasting Council of Thailand and the Thai Broadcast Journalists Association call for Sorrayuth’s programme to be shut down.

“HIS ALLEGATIONS WERE HARSH AND FALSE.”

Prawit Wongsuwon, deputy prime minister, defence minister and signer of the order to invite Watana Muangsook for some attitude adjustment because he said the minister had made sexist comments.

“ORGANISERS WILL HOLD SUCH DEBATES AT THEIR OWN RISKS.”

Wissanu Krea-ngam, deputy prime minister, says campaigns and meetings that are against the draft constitution will not be permitted.

“THE COMPANY HAS BEGUN PAYING 1,100 WORKERS, [A TOTAL] OF 48 MILLION BAHT.”

Boonlue Sartpetch, Samut Sakhon labour department, on the agreement by Golden Prize Tuna Canning to replay migrant workers for “exploitative working conditions”.

“IN APRIL, THEY STARTED TO PUT BUNKERS ON THE STREETS ... THEN I KNEW.”

Lord Voldemort, revealing that he knew there would be a military coup a month before the putsch.

“I DID NOT CAMPAIGN WITHIN 150 FEET OF THAT POLLING STATION.”

Bill Clinton, who did not have sex with that woman, right after he was caught on video campaigning within 150 feet of that polling station, which would be a violation of campaign laws.