‘REMARRIAGE’ FOR A PRICE
Unusual Indian custom persists
Marriages are made in heaven and there is someone special for everyone. So they say. But not in Ajmer, a city 400 kilometres southwest of New Delhi, and many other parts of western and central India where nata pratha — loosely translated as a live-in relationship for married people — has been prevalent for ages in certain Hindu castes.
The custom allows married but estranged men and women to have another partner within their community without marriage — as long as they are prepared to pay for it.
This is how Sanwarlal Lawda, a young driver in Devmali, got together with Gita in 2012 after his married partner Seema Bhadana broke off with him.
Lawda, who belongs to the Gurjar caste, was married to Seema when he was only eight years old, under a barter arrangement called ata sata in Rajasthan. He was given Seema while one of his cousin’s sisters was married to Seema’s brother. Seema visited him in 2007 for a month. Both marriages later ended because one of Lawda’s relatives was found to have been addicted to opium.
In 2012, Lawda brought Gita, who had been estranged from her husband, home after paying 212,500 rupees (US$3,130) to her parents and in-laws. The amount was compensation to the two families for what they had spent on Gita’s marriage. It was arrived at after a meeting of the village elders.
After the payment, Gita’s husband affirmed in writing, in the presence of five witnesses, that he had no objection to Gita entering into a relationship with Lawda. It involved no remarriage, no exchange of vows or garlands before a priest, and no court registration.
Today Gita is the mother of two children by Lawda: three-year-old Kiran and twoyear-old Kundan. She is, for all practical purposes, the woman of the house but that does not discount the possibility of her man entering into another relationship.
“If she breaks off the relationship I can buy another woman for 151,000 rupees ($2,220). That is the current rate for buying a woman. Or I can even get a second woman after paying 751,000 rupees: 151,000 rupees for the woman and rest for charity,” Lawda says, sitting right next to a demure Gita who has to keep her head covered in the presence of every other man and woman.
Meetings of community elders are held every three months to decide on such issues in the communities of Pushkar and Devmali in Ajmer district and Asind in Bhilwara district. During the last meeting in Devmali, Lawda said, it was decided to allow a man to acquire a second woman after a payment for charity. The same meeting agreed to impose penalties on families where unmarried girls have mobile phones, and to ban all community meals organised after the death of people under age 30.
The story of Sanwarlal Lawda finds an echo in the case of Satya Narayan, also known as Sattu, a general store owner in Dev Nagar, a village on the outskirts of Pushkar, 414km southwest of New Delhi.
Sattu is a Meghvanshi, a scheduled caste that qualifies for certain employment and education benefits. He married Nisha of Nooriyawas village in 2004 but the union ended a few months later.
In 2007, Sattu bought Sumitra after paying 20,000 rupees ($295) to her family and in-laws. He actually came out ahead because Nisha’s family paid him 35,000 rupees ($515) before setting her up with another estranged man. Today Sattu, 38, and Sumitra have a son and a daughter. But you ask him about proof of his marriage and he has no answer.
“My elder brother has two papers that Sumitra’s husband and Nisha gave us. We are safe,” he claims, standing behind a counter in his ship. He said that about two dozen nata pratha relationships had been arranged in his village in last decade. Sattu is a strong believer in the tradition.
So is Kalyanji, an elderly Gurjar man in Dev Nagar. “The families do not have to spend on remarriages. The ‘live-in for married people’ custom has been here for ages and is a very good practice,” he told Asia Focus.
But women’s groups in India have long campaigned against it. They believe that since the custom gives no say to women it can be misused by rich men to intimidate their wives and legitimise their extramarital affairs.
They also believe that the custom provides cover to human traffickers and fraudulent marriage brokers. There have been many such examples, they point out.
In June last year, Ratanlal Jat, 35, head of the Gangrar village panchayat (council) in Chittorgarh district, was arrested under the Prohibition of Child Marriage Act after he was filmed marrying a sixyear-old girl. Jat, a bachelor, married the child so that he could become eligible for a nata pratha with a married woman with whom he was already having an affair. The mismatch was believed to have been arranged by a local marriage broker for a financial consideration.
On June 22 this year, a woman called Shanta, 25, who entered into live-in relationship with a man named Lalu Ram after leaving her husband Bhanwarlal Meena, was stripped naked with her lover and kept in confinement for two days by Meena and his associates.
The latter were upset because Shanta had entered into a new relationship without paying monetary compensation to Meena, As well, she did not seek the permission of her caste elders for the relationship. Shanta and Lalu Ram were severely beaten and a naked Shanta was forced to run some distance with Meena mounted on her shoulders.
Police in Udaipur have arrested 13 people in connection with the case. Shanta, having been abandoned by both men — Bhanwarlal and Lalu Ram — is currently staying with her mother.
Ajmer-based activist Indira Pancholi, who wrote a research paper on violence against women and nata pratha in Rajasthan, believes people in India are committing crimes in the name of the custom. She says the custom also denies alimony rights to married women.
The custom is as rampant in Rajasthan as witch-hunting, another social evil. “It is there in all communities except Brahmans, Baniyas and Rajputs. There is a nata in every house. It’s like witch-hunting,” she told Asia Focus.
Apart from Rajasthan, the custom is prevalent among many castes in Gujarat and Madhya Pradesh states.
Pancholi believes the state government lacks the will to challenge powerful caste groups and commit to making new social laws. She accused middlemen of making money at the cost of the estranged poor women, which helps to keep the practice alive.
“The families do not have to spend on remarriages. The ‘live-in for married people’ custom has been here for ages and is a very good practice” KALYANJI Gurjar elder in Dev Nagar