Give everyone a chance to taste potluck specialities

Dear Abby: I have been a teacher for many years and when staff members get together for a potluck meal, is it bad manners to eat whatever dish you brought? My fiancée enjoys preparing things for me to contribute. She thinks I’m silly for not partaking of whatever she makes for me to bring, especially if it’s my favourite dessert. To Pie Or Not To Pie

Dear To Pie Or Not To Pie: The considerate thing would be to take a small slice of the dessert so that the other attendees can enjoy it, too, then wait until you’re sure that everyone who wants a sample has finished before going back to polish it off or lick the tin.

From friend to customer

Dear Abby: I am a young stay-at-home mum who loves to get out and meet people. I have a tendency to make friends with direct sales representatives. But once I have hosted a party or bought some of their merchandise to support them, I become a customer and the friendship ceases to exist. Is there a polite way to tell them I would rather not buy the product or host a party without losing their friendship? Friendly In Montana

Dear Friendly: You have been confusing friendship with business. People who cozy up to others to get them to buy a product or host a party are salespeople, not friends. And no, there isn’t a “polite” way to tell someone like the folks you have described they haven’t made the sale and maintain a “friendship” that never was one in the first place.

Emotional tangle

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for more than 15 years. His former wife has never gotten over him. She has sent him many emails and text messages. He never responds. Her most recent ploy was to sign up with an assortment of vendors to receive mail at our home.

We also get phone calls from solicitors asking for her. Although we live in the same city, this has never been her home. I’m tempted to put “Forward to (her address)” on the mail, but I don’t want to egg her on. To me, it’s harassment, and possibly stalking. Had It With Her

Dear Had It: Your husband’s former wife appears to have emotional problems and I agree that what she’s doing is a form of harassment. You are certainly within your rights to redirect any mail that’s addressed to her to her home. Contact the post office to see what can be done. And if solicitors call, either give them her correct phone number or consider having your number changed to one that’s unlisted.

Cleanse mind

Dear Abby: I am a senior-aged man who swims three times a week at a nearby fitness centre. I shower there after each swim. Seldom do I use the shower in my apartment. My son has reprimanded me strongly for not showering daily. He asserted that by not showering every day and by using a public facility when I do, I am practicing “very poor hygiene”.

Not Showering Enough

Dear Not Showering: With apologies to William Shakespeare: To shower or not to shower, that is the question: Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of your son’s criticism or to stand up for yourself (in a sea of sniping) is up to you.

From where I sit — far downwind — if you can pass the smell test, showering three times a week is all that’s necessary for proper hygiene. Do not allow your son to shake your self-confidence.