Digital detoxing in a technology crazy world

Dear Annie: I love technology. I embrace it and think that it adds value to my life and pushes the human race forward. However, I am not totally sure that my consumption of “social” media and constant use of my phone is a good thing.

I didn’t think of myself as overly addicted to my phone until recently. I saw a piece on 60 Minutes about how some consumer software companies actively try to get users addicted to their applications via psychological cues, such as notifications and likes. I then read a piece in Fast Company about a freelancer who did a one-month digital detox and saw his productivity skyrocket. Finally, that same week, I read a research piece from Harvard Business Review that essentially said that the more time we spend on Facebook the more it bums us out.

I realised that social media may have been making me feel bad about myself. I was staring at doctored photos of the highlights of my “friends’” days. I don’t want to put unnecessary rules and limitations on myself, but I also don’t want to live my life staring at a screen and feeling jealous constantly.

How should I handle this? Ditch the iPhone for the flip phone? Delete Instagram? Write a manifesto about how technology is slowly zapping our creativity? Or play another round of Candy Crush? Digital Dependence

Dear Digital Dependence: When technology diminishes our relationships with loved ones and distracts us from the things that truly matter, it’s no longer a tool; it’s a toxin.

Fortunately, there are a few tricks you can try for cutting down on your internet use without moving to Walden and throwing your smartphone in the pond. One is to frequently change the way apps are laid out on your phone’s screen. This prevents you from going on autopilot and compulsively opening apps without even being conscious of it.

Another method is to keep your phone out of sight and out of mind for large chunks of time. Similarly, try turning off all notifications so you’re not constantly being lured into checking your accounts. If you need to be on your computer for work but don’t want to get distracted, try a programme that blocks social media sites for a set amount of time, such as SelfControl. And if you’re reading this on your phone, put it down and go for a walk.

Well dressed

Dear Annie: I recently attended the wedding of a college friend of mine. In the days preceding the wedding, a buddy of mine asked whether I was going to wear a tuxedo. I told him no, because the invitation said “formal attire”. I interpreted “formal” to mean I should wear a suit, whereas “black tie” would have meant men should wear a tux. We asked our respective wives and decided that “formal” meant suit.

The wedding took place during the summer in California. I wore a true-blue suit, blue shirt and light red linen tie. I thought it was perfect for the venue, time of year and location. My buddy wore something comparable. However, when we showed up in our suits, we were surprised to see that almost everyone else was wearing tuxes. Feeling underdressed is the pits. Dressed to Be Stressed

Dear Dressed: Here’s a brief overview of what wedding dress codes mean for men. If the invitation says “white tie”, dress to the nines — with a long black jacket with tails, a white bow tie and a white vest. To a “black tie” wedding, always wear a tuxedo. If it’s “formal,” a tuxedo or dark suit and tie will do. “Semiformal” or “cocktail” denotes a suit and tie. For a “casual” wedding, go with dress pants and a button-down shirt. If you’re not sure, err on the side of formal. It’s less embarrassing to be overdressed than it is to be underdressed.

Speak up

Dear Annie: In response to children misbehaving in television commercials, “Watching in Disbelief”, was upset to see such behaviour presented as cute or otherwise acceptable. Dear “Watching”: Say something! I saw some advertisements on TV recently that sent bad messages. One showed young kids passing a big rig on a two-lane rural road. The driver was wearing a seat belt, but his girlfriend wasn’t. I called and complained, and now it’s gone. If you see something, say something. But be nice when saying it.

Taking Action

Dear Taking Action: Great points. We’re always free to speak up.