We top the world in various ways. You gotta love Thailand for its flaws and all!

THAILAND RANKS NUMBER ONE IN THE WORLD IN MANY WAYS...BE IT NAUGHTY OR NICE

When it comes to being number one, Thailand does it in the charmingly eccentric manner we’re known for. This is all the more clear when going through the various ways in which we’ve ranked first in the world. “We’re number one!”, “We’re number one…”, and “We’re number one???” are the reactions that will ensue as you read through our list of the good, the bad, and the ugly. The Land of Smiles certainly gives us much to smile about. Unfortunately, some of these things we would rather not be first in, but we’ll go ahead and take number one for honesty because we’ve included them anyway. After all, even though it seems like you could be stuck in Sukhumvit’s rush hour for longer than the government can stay in power (see #7 and #3), it’s hard not to feel proud of this country — military coups and all. So here’s the low-down on how, for better or worse, Thailand has been ranked number one in the world.

1. Best country to start a business

According to: US News data reporter, The World Bank, 2017. The low-down: Entrepreneurs assemble: it takes about 26 days and costs 6.6% of the average income per capita to start a business here.

3. Highest number of coup d’etats in contemporary history

According to: The Washington Post, 2013. The low-down: Since the daddy coup of 1932, Thailand has endured 12 successful military coups as well as 7 failed attempts. Excuse us, we’re still figuring out how to do democracy.

4. World’s largest rubber producer and exporter

According to: World Atlas, 2017. The low-down: We are the king of rubber, producing around 4.3 million tonnes per year which comes to about 40% of all the world’s natural rubber. Too bad our rubber growers suffer from low prices.

2. Most visited city in the world

According to: Mastercard Global Destination Cities Index, 2013. Forbes, 2016. The low-down: Bangkok welcomed almost 16 million international visitors between 2012 and 2013. In 2016, we took an even stronger lead with 21.5 million visitors; second was London with 19.9 million visitors.

5. Most adulterous country

According to: The Independent, Durex and various dating websites, 2017. The low-down: Even more scandalous than a Thai soap: 51% of married Thai adults admitted to having an affair (cue side-glance at your partner). We’re also the only Asian country in the top 10. PRINTED AND DISTRIBUTED BY PRESSREADER

6. World’s worst traffic congestion: guess what? It’s not us.

According to: TomTom Traffic Index, 2017. The low-down: Yes, we realise this is a list for “Number Ones”, but we had to spread the good (and shocking) news: we don’t have the worst traffic congestion in the world. Mexico City takes that glorious title with a yearly average congestion level of 66% extra travel time while Bangkok’s is 61%. So, yes, we are a close second.

7. Most time spent driving in peak traffic: sorry, this one is us.

According to: TomTom Traffic Index, 2017. The low-down: Nice try, Thailand. But, sadly, driving here is still the winning nightmare. Mexico City’s congestion level in general is worse than ours, but when it comes to extra travel time during peak hours compared to uncongested conditions, Mexicans are behind the steering wheel for 59 extra minutes while we’re forced into 64 more minutes on the road – the longest time spent driving in any city in the world. Sorry we got your hopes up; just be thankful we’re entertaining you in the car.

8. World’s largest weekend market

According to: The Straits Times, 2016. The low-down: Chatuchak market is like a mini Thailand: beautifully bizarre, barely organised, and loved by tourists. With over 35 acres of pure shopping, you can buy almost anything from chandeliers to a baby hedgehog.

9. Top economy with female CEOs

According to: Grant Thornton International Business Report, 2013. The low-down: The average percentage of a country’s CEOs who are female is 24%. In Thailand, 49% are women.

10. Highest number of pick-up trucks per capita

According to: Ward’s Auto Report, 2012, Thai PBS, 2016. The low-down: With one for every 10 people (probably all aboard at the same time), it seems that no number of road safety laws will end Thailand’s love affair with the pick-up truck.

11. Highest number of Chinese expats in any country

According to: CIA World Factbook, Statista, 2017. The low-down: We’re the most popular place to live for Chinese migrants, with over nine million expats. That’s 14% of the overseas Chinese population.

12. Best quality of life for expatriates

According to: Expat Explorer Report HSBC, 2013. The low-down: Famously hospitable, Thailand takes the top spot for ease of setting up, integration, social life and cost-efficiency for expats.

13. Highest consumption of energy drinks

According to: Zenith International, 2009. The low-down: In 2009, the average Thai adult drank 11.4 litres per year, four times more than the US. Welcome to the motherland of Red Bull.

14. City with the most Facebook users in the world

According to: Global Digital Statshot Q2, We Are Social, Hootsuite, 2017. The low-down: Because of the large population here that is registered back in their hometowns, there are more Facebook accounts in Bangkok than registered inhabitants. With 30 million accounts, we really do “like” Zuckerberg’s invention.

15. Most Instagrammed (and liked) city in Asia

According to: Travel Wire Asia, CNN, 2016. The low-down: Instagram loves us.

16. Most time spent on Instagram

According to: Instagram, 2015, Bloomberg, 2016. The low-down: …And we love Instagram back. Thais spend the most time scrolling through, posting and editing on the app than any other country in the world. That’s over 20 minutes per day compared to the world average of 15 minutes.

17. Hottest city in the world

According to: World Meteorological Organisation, The Telegraph, 2017. The low-down: Yes, Bangkok has the best-looking people on the planet. Or are they talking about our annual mean temperature of 28°C, the highest in the world? We’ll wear both crowns on our (scorched) heads, thank you.

18. Fastest airport Wi-Fi in the world

According to: eTurbo News, 2015. The low-down: In 2015, Suvarnabhumi Airport provided the fastest average public Wi-Fi download speed worldwide at 41.45Mbps.

19. World’s favourite dish: Massaman Curry

According to: CNN, 2017. The low-down: We’re happy to be number one for a lot of things, but the real reason we’re “The Land of Smiles”? The fact that this dish is pratically sold on every street here.

20. Most beachfront hotels and resorts in the world

According to: World Atlas, 2014. The low-down: We’re the most spoilt for choice when it comes to choosing a beach stay; 1,250 places of accommodation right on the shoreline does not make for easy decision-making. It’s a hard life.