Who knows what’s up a family tree?

Iswear I overheard my old maths teacher say that Brasiers’ IQ must be around 72 — he was being slightly sarcastic as he knew my love of golf. His comment wounded me for life, though, and I have never been partial to matters of maths, or school as-a-whole, come to that!

So, it was with immense relief that the day after I left school at 16 I became an assistant professional golfer and joined the British Professional Golfers’ Association.

It never ceases to amaze me that siblings and members of the same bloodline are cleverer then others, so imagine my astonishment when I received a message from Downing Street and the news that British Prime Minister Theresa May was born Theresa Brasier and that we are genealogically connected by a branch of the family tree. Yes, through the line of cousins, suddenly No.10 is within reach for another Brasier — with a slightly lower IQ.

May doesn’t play golf — and not many British prime ministers have played — but I believe Winston Churchill tried a few times which led to his famous quip about golf: “Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.”

Out of Bounds: Here’s some more useless thoughts to think about between bad shots: The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan. There was never a recorded Wendy before. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo. If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. (Who was the sadist who discovered this?). Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow film down so you could see his moves. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.