A MAD, MAD WEEK
>> Week Three of the 2019-2020 election campaign was Crazy Week. There always is at least one.
The ex-prime minister who steered the country, wildly but successfully through the tom yang goong economic crisis, said he wasn’t yet old enough to pretend to be Mahathir Mohamad and run for office again. He wasn’t being completely honest, because Chuan Leekpai is nowhere near mean and bitchy enough to be Mahathir Mohamad.
The general prime minister, the only man permitted by military-enforced law to even have an election campaign, announced that he had not poached any professional politicians to help. Meaning he hasn’t personally recruited any.
But he said that personally he believes to his core that reform is going great. His personal reform committee chief says it isn’t going at all. Who will win that fight is obvious but who will win the argument isn’t.
It was as if there was some sort of quota — a laugh a day, a shock every morning, a full-fledged “HUH?” each 24 hours.
The Ministry of Defence, the only ministry controlled by a world-class writer of coup technique and master wristwatch collector, is going to track foreigners. All of them, including tens of millions of itinerants, aka tourists.
Even top-ranked dictators Sarit Thanarat and Plaek Pibulsonggram left that chore to police. It’s like one of the world’s military regimes is planning a l-o-n-g stay.
The Nida Poll, arguably the best of all the worst polls on Earth, announced who had won its straw vote as the next prime minister. Shock-surprise-laugh all in one on the winner. Take a wild guess.
A provocateur convinced half the country that Chuan Leekpai could be Mahathir Mohamad. Troll level: Galactic master.
Mr Chuan is about as un-Mahathir as it gets. He waved off the fevered “speculation” based on absolutely nothing by saying we should wait 12 or 13 years when he reaches 92. Also, what the troll (or trolls) missed: Dr Mahathir ran against his own party.
But that was not as weird as the general prime minister’s continued reference to “personally”. Regular readers, both of you, will recall Gen (Ret) Prayut’s credible claims he hadn’t “personally” talked politics with Buri Ram slugger Newin Chidchob.
He was at it again for Crazy Week, explaining none too patiently that he hadn’t personally poached or tried to recruit any of the Isan provincial warlords he needs to become an elected prime minister after the elections next year or 2020 or whenever.
The Pheu Thai ex-MP Yutthapong Charasatien, former deputy agriculture minister, said of course the general prime minister’s backers and deputised soldiers were actually hoovering more frantically than a manic obsessive housewife. But what could he know, right? He’s only from Maha Sarakham.
And then (in the blue corner) the general prime minister squared off against the man (in the red corner) he actually did personally appoint to write a constitution (failed) and write reform laws (failed again). Borwornsak Uwanno said he’s on the edge of depression because there’s been no reform. Battling back pugnaciously, Uncle Tu boasted there has been massive reform, but you can’t see it — yet. “Some people” don’t have a clue. Reform takes time to actually blossom.
The most outrageous shenanigans causing head-desking was by highly motivated patriot and chief legal consultant for Gen (Ret) Prayut’s personal junta, army Col Burin Thongpraphai. He was pleased to officially file with police the details of the law-breaking celebration held by Pheu Thai Party members and supporters.
It wasn’t easy to get details of the charges alleged. So here they are.
of the POMC, prohibiting all activities by political parties (the National Peace and Order Maintaining Council or POMC being the forerunner of the NCPO)
more people for political purpose
- tion 116 (sedition) planning the overthrow or inciting rebellion to overthrow the legal authority or the monarch
2016, to wit, broadcasting the meeting on Facebook Live
Each of these charges plus the sum of these charges exactly equals the term “Crazy Week”. Any Pheu Thai felon convicted of these will win free room and board until the 2040 election.
Which could be just in time for the next election. How crazy would that be?