So much more than meets the eye
Face reading, overbearing traditional parents and suitors’ indecisiveness to take the plunge are part and parcel of what makes Netflix’s docu-reality series Indian Matchmaking an eye-opening experience for anyone not familiar with this common practice in the subcontinent.
Matchmakers in India typically come in the form of middle-aged women, who are both well respected in their community and have along the way built a reputation for successfully pairing off men and women of marriageable age — of course, with caste, education and family background in mind.
Premiered on Netflix last week, Indian Matchmaking was billed as a show that helps single millennials “find true love”.
Living up to this expectation is a different story, as there is so much more to it than meets the eye.
One can easily deduce from watching a few episodes that Indian matchmakers don’t just have to contend with the whims of potential suitors, but also their parents, who believe that, as guardians, they have a legitimately larger part to play than their child when it comes to choosing a life partner for them.
The series is hosted by matchmaker Sima Taparia, a cool-and-collected 57-year-old, whose direct and unapologetic admission “who doesn’t want a fair, beautiful wife” brings into question the shallow obsession most Asians have with outer good looks and fairness over character, integrity and virtue.
The first season, which has eight episodes, chronicles the hectic lives of seven people searching for love, companionship and a marriage partner. Three of them are based in India while the other four are scattered across the US, everywhere from New Jersey to Texas.
Among the lot is a young fashion-conscious male jeweller from
Mumbai with a taste for fine dining and plastering photographs of himself on door handles; a headstrong female lawyer from Houston who comes across as self-absorbed and only seems to know what she doesn’t like; a sweet wedding planner from New Jersey who can’t seem to meet someone who can wrap their head around the fact that there are Indians from Guyana; a mild-mannered, nerdy public schoolteacher from Austin haunted by his father’s past; a young, successful Delhi-based entrepreneur struggling with body image issues; a 25-year-old Mumbai mama’s boy whose mother has given him a deadline to get married by the end of the year; and a young Sikh single mother searching for love after her divorce.
The only things that connect them are the fact that they are all Indian or of Indian origin and that they have decided to put their trust in Taparia to help them find a life partner.
Out of the seven stories presented in this season, I felt that it was Akshay’s life story that best encapsulated the dilemma facing young Indians today.
The 25-year-old is the youngest of two sons, the older married, of a rich businessman. His domineering mother, who blames her high blood pressure issues on his indecisiveness to pick a suitor, constantly pressures him to pick among the numerous marriage proposals Taparia brings to the awkwardly shy young man, who comes across as having the EQ of an 18-year-old.
The mother is consumed by the need to find a wife for her son; so much so that her waking hours are spent in achieving this. However the audience can clearly see that Akshay is not prepared to do so.
He finally does pick a beautiful and fair girl. Their short courtship is best described as awkward.
The season’s last episode ends with his engagement.
While entertaining, one can conclude that Indian Matchmaking is a glorification of the matchmaking auntie that refuses to point fingers at arranged marriages which are, let’s face it, nothing more than a product of India’s patriarchal, classist and casteist society that continues to ensure there is no “deviation” from the norm.