The long and winding road

Ever-changing COVID travel restrictions made our columnist’s route home from the Continent a particularly scenic one

Like many people, last year I became an expert in COVID quarantine rules and how to obey the necessary protocols without becoming completely housebound. And so, in my bid to get home from Europe last November I found myself driving rather than flying.

At the time, only certain countries were on the permitted “travel corridor” list and it felt as though the lights were going out across the Continent. Having been in Italy for 12 days, I started my journey home from Milan, calculating that I could drive through seven countries in a circuitous two-day route to Boulogne and thus complete my 14 days’ quarantine as I reached the Shuttle.

One small issue – France and Belgium were not on a travel corridor. So I called Eurotunnel and asked whether, if I filled the car to the brim with petrol in Aachen, Germany and travelled nonstop through Belgium to France, I could drive straight on to the train without getting out of my vehicle. “Yes,” the reply came, “but don’t stop at the terminal – drive straight on and only climb out of the car in Folkestone.”

TOP GEAR

Off I went. It was an interesting route – a sort of Grand Tour without much of the sightseeing. On the Italian-Swiss border I instantly received a message on my phone saying that if I stopped at all I would have to lay over for seven days’ quarantine. No pausing for a fondue lunch, then – instead, I pressed on to Liechtenstein for a brief sojourn in its capital, Vaduz. Not a place that many business travellers are likely to have visited unless they are bankers or Swiss watch salespeople. It’s a lovely town that when I visited enjoyed the benefits of no mask wearing and low COVID rates.

Having overnighted and filled the car, it was back to Switzerland for a quick drive into Austria, with a similar message appearing on my phone en route. Here, HM Government had not permitted quarantine-free travel so there was no stopping until I reached the German border. A safe haven – or so I thought, until we got to Cologne.

Checking into the Courtyard by Marriott, I was asked if I was British, for if I was I would not be allowed in owing to new restrictions brought in that day. Arrivals from west of Germany had to go straight back home.

“It’s the same for people from Ireland,” the stern receptionist explained by way of an apology. “But I come from Liechtenstein!” I cried. “Oh!” replied the receptionist. “Your English is excellent for a German speaker.”

Thus avoiding further cross-examination, we – unlike the unlucky couple from Nazareth – avoided the stable. The next day I crossed into Belgium for the final 350km stretch, skirting around Brussels then on to the coast and the French border. The prospect of home had rarely seemed so inviting.

UNION FLAGS

Since then, of course, everything has changed again with the new border restrictions brought about by Brexit. In future we will each have to consider the impact of the 90-day limit on stays in the Schengen zone in any 180-day period. Spend too long and you could be fined for overstaying your welcome.

In our household, the Irish branch of the family tree means my wife and our children will be able to apply for Irish passports. I am sadly excluded so if I want to go over the 90-day limit in, say, France I will have to apply for an annual extended-stay visa. This is all rather painful and merely adds to the current general levels of misery.

Still, there is one cause for optimism and that is the speed with which the various vaccines are being approved for rolling out. I hope that by the time you read you or your loved ones will have had the chance to be inoculated. While we couldn’t all meet to indulge in Christmas pudding, we will hopefully be able to enjoy an Easter egg together.

I calculated that I could drive through seven countries in a circuitous two- day route to Boulogne