Here’s to my culture
Maheshpreet speaks about her journey to embracing her inner desi
Growing up,
I always felt a little disconnected from my culture. With ancestors who left India almost a century ago and having been born and brought up in Dubai, I had to cup my hands tightly to hold on to my Punjabi culture. With a limited understanding of my mother tongue; and even more so, the restrictions on what I could and couldn’t do, I had a bit of a tough time accepting these thinly veiled ‘traditions.’
My journey to embracing my culture is a lot like my journey to embracing my parents. After all, they’re the ones who instilled all my morals and norms into me. Over time, you realise, your parents aren’t as perfect as you always made them out to be. And that’s okay. But when it came to misogyny and the selfcreated traditions of nosy aunties in desi society, I understood, there are obvious flaws. Flaws that we, as younger generations, have a responsibility to try and change for the better. How? By bridging the gap.
Last week when my friends and I wanted to vacation out of town for a day or two (on our own), I was shocked when my usually over-protective parents said yes. Because even though “people in our culture don’t do that sort of thing,” my parents and I were able to see eye to eye. Discussions like these over the last few years have propelled the realisation that though outdated opinions had turned into traditions in the past, a culture soaked in acceptance like mine will always leave room for growth. And though I sound like a teenager finding maturity in adulthood, I think it’s a lot more than that. It’s why I decided to embrace my culture after all, flaws and all.
Because if I, as a Punjabi woman, could not appreciate the richness of my culture, then who could? After all, the world has been quick to call out ‘cultural appropriation’ when Westerners were spotted with bindis at Coachella.
As my acceptance and interest grows, I’ve learnt to embrace pretty Phulkari patterns from Haryana, poetry from Kaurs, Punjabi folk songs, Gidha and Sikh history from the 1600s. And through it all, I am reminded that although western colonisation divided my country and questioned our appearance, only to welcome brown people on television for representation, there’s a whole other culture out there that has always embraced these traits; my Punjabi culture. After all these years, it’s about time I joined my people (apne) in celebrating this culture of ours. Because regardless of how small a community we are, our family values are our foundation. To the point where every Punjabi is considered apne, and I truly wouldn’t have it any other way.