WHY WOMEN SHOULD UNLEASH THEIR R AGE

In Rage Becomes Her, author Soraya Chemaly (left) writes that women are taught frombirthtosuppresstheiranger.It’stimenow,shesays,toletitallout.ByCocoKhan

‘Iremember my first feeling of rage very clearly,’ says writer and activist Soraya Chemaly. ‘I was, maybe, eight years old and my brother was six. We were sitting with our parents at dinner when my father said to me: ‘Get up and clear the table with your mother.’ My brother just looked at me with this big grin on his face.’

Outrage, indignation, resentment - whatever you call it, these often maligned emotions are essential for our survival. They tell us when a line has been crossed, when we have been violated and when we should say ‘no’. Anger is a ‘doing’ emotion. It demands recognition. It demands change. And it is the subject of Chemaly’s new book, Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger.

She has focused on female anger because this is an emotion so often suppressed and stymied in women. For men, it is valorised, particularly when applied to protecting or leading others. But girls are taught from birth to prioritise the feelings of others and that being angry is undesirable. They come to learn that they will be better rewarded by society if they curtail it, be polite and stay quiet.

‘The Serena Williams incident is a really good example,’ says Chemaly, referring to the 2018 US Open final, in which Williams was penalised for arguing with the umpire when he accused her of cheating. ‘Of course she’d be angry, but she wasn’t explosive.’ She also notes the intense media scrutiny that Williams came under, typically accompanied by images of her looking ‘almost unhinged’.

‘When you think about the male players most of whom seem to be white men in this extremely genteel sport - the ones who do explode are ‘bad boys’; they’re charismatic. Williams just never has the benefit of the doubt.’

Rage Becomes Her uses anecdotes from Chemaly’s own encounters with female anger. The book opens with a memory of her mother silently throwing her wedding china out of the window – a lot of the plates were destroyed.

Ladies, don’t keep that rage bottled up, says Rage Becomes Her author Soraya Chemaly after the Serena Williams US Open Final incident.