BACK FROM THE BRINK

It is every mother’s worst nightmare to see her child fall into the abyss of depression; US expat Amy Hix has endured this ordeal several times. Growing up in Wisconsin, US, her son Ernesto was a happy boy with plenty of friends. ‘His second grade teacher told me she wished she could capture his enthusiasm and love for life in a bottle,’ recollects Amy.

Ernie’s life hit a speed bump when he lost a best friend in 2011 and another close friend the following year. ‘Ernie never understood why people he loved were going away from his life and that marked the beginning of his battle with depression,’ recalls Amy.

At the he age of 14, he had his first bout of depression. ‘It was not severe but was definitely a cry for help,’ said Amy. ‘Then I found a few things written in his notebook which strongly suggested mental depression.’ He was provided professional treatment.

A few months later, assuming that Ernie did not need constant supervision, Amy left him at home just for 40 minutes to go to the supermarket. ‘He had no red flags to signal he was in danger. I came home and find Ernie sitting in a corner of the bathroom, absolutely distant and speechless,’ says Amy. Following this, Ernie became emotionless and depressed, and required professional care.

Finally in 2013, he met a counsellor named Randy whom he opened up to.

‘Being a single parent at that time and having two daughters, I did not realise Ernie was yearning for maIe company. Randy changed things for Ernie. They would go play basketball, talk and basically do ‘guy things’,’ said Amy.

Meanwhile Amy sought help for herself by joining a family support group run by the National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI). From there she realised that the way she handled many things just created a more toxic environment in her approach with Ernie. ‘I could have been his advocate in a more positive way,’ says Amy, who went on to become one of the facilitators of NAMI. In May 2017, she left US to work in Abu Dhabi.

Now 21, Ernie is a changed man with a positive disposition thanks to rehabilitation and counselling. He is currently in the US under an Individualised Education Plan where he can continue to attain his high school diploma.

Amy advises parents to look for signals that can trigger depression. It could be a time of year or event that brings back certain memories. ‘Looking at Ernie’s history, most of his severely depressed stages were in October. Now, we have gone through four Octobers without any problems and that is an extremely good sign,’ she says.

As part of her mission to raise awareness, Amy has started a support group in Abu Dhabi for parents who have undergone similar situations. ‘Support groups help by providing a safe environment as they include people who are not so emotionally tied to the situation. Their thoughts or suggestions are experience based. NAMI made me realise that many family members are suffering silently. I would like to see something like this happen here in UAE. Also, having a social/ emotional curriculum within the school would help children have empathy towards one another and work together as a team,’ she says.

Amy advises parents to look for signals that can trigger depression. It could be a time of year or event that brings back certain memories. As part of her mission to raise awareness, Amy has started a support group in Abu Dhabi