8 BUILDING BLOCKS OF RESILIENCE

Speak openly about the challenges they, you, and others may encounter. For example if they’re going away to study you could discuss loneliness, homesickness or becoming overwhelmed. These aren’t guaranteed to happen, but by understanding that they might, already gives them an advantage in dealing with them if they do. They are also better equipped to spot these signs in others.

Encourage them not to give in, and to have another go when things don’t go according to plan. Praise them for trying, regardless of the outcome.

Ensure you acknowledge when things are going well and working out (but avoid going over the top!).

Work on developing their problemsolving skills. For example, if their marks are lower than expected, don’t autopunish. Instead, discuss solutions to best aid their studies for better results next time around.

Be there to support them, but avoid solving each and every minor problem or disappointment they encounter.

Avoid anticipating and preventing every problem for them. By overcoming many smaller challenges, they will build their resilience for life’s bigger setbacks.

Introduce the notion of self-compassion into their lives. This will help them cope with failings, disappointments and mistakes by learning to be kinder to themselves.

Tell them that failing at something is not a sign of weakness or a lack of skill or intelligence. Or as Thomas A. Edison brilliantly said “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”.