Analysing the layers of a coconut
When we have a sense of clarity as to our purpose in life, then we institute the correct practices and habits around us, and set realistic and achievable results
Many years ago, when I was involved in grassroots community work, I knew a raucous, rowdy and unruly preacher who liked to make himself known at every gathering, was opinionated about everything and everyone, and – it seemed to me – his character was focused on condemning others and informing them how terrible they were. He was not a person you would invite to your house for a genial conversation over tea and scones. In fact, over time, I learned to avoid him, particularly at communal gatherings.
As the years passed, and I moved for work to other countries, I forgot about him, but again stumbled across him a decade later. While I recognised him as a person, his character had completely transformed. Gone was the firebrand hatemonger, and in his place was a gentle soul, utterly humble, modest, devoted to the service of others, displaying love and compassion. He was an absolute joy to be with and someone you would certainly invite over for a convivial conversation. Hate was a part of his former life, his former character; love was a part of his current one, his current character.
In an age of digital distractions and the hijacking of our attention, it becomes increasingly difficult to define the type of character we want to become. However, it may help if we imagine the three layers of a coconut when addressing this question – the outer layer (exocarp), the fleshy middle layer (mesocarp), and the woody layer surrounding the seed (endocarp). Our results and achievements in life are like the outer layer, our practices and habits like the middle layer, and our character like the seed layer.
To take this analogy a bit further, our results (outer layer) are the consequence of what we desire. Perhaps you want to cycle from Vietnam to Cambodia, or learn to play the flamenco guitar, or trek across the Sahara Desert. Generally, the targets and ambitions we have in life are aligned with this layer, they are tangible, and often measurable and recordable.
Our practices and habits (middle layer) are all about the methods, routines and procedures we build around ourselves. If you are going to cycle from Vietnam to Cambodia, you will need to instigate a fitness routine to prepare. If you want to learn to play the flamenco guitar, you will need to understand sheet music or study with a master. If you are going to trek across the Sahara, you will need to learn how to survive and forage for yourself in a harsh, arid climate. Overall, the habits we build in life are associated with this layer.
Then there is character (inner layer, the seed), the most profound level. Here, we get to the heart of who we really are. What do we believe? How do we react in times of crisis? The attitudes, dogmas and convictions we hold are associated with this level. I must believe I am a cyclist if I am to complete the trip from Vietnam to Cambodia. I must believe I am a musician to learn the flamenco guitar. I must believe I am an explorer and adventurer to survive the Sahara Desert.
When we have a sense of clarity as to our purpose in life, in other words, if our character is defined, then we institute the correct practices and habits around us, and we set realistic and achievable results. Taking one example from above: if I believe I am a musician and this is part of my character, then my daily practices will involve playing the flamenco guitar for at least one hour a day, and the result might be that I perform at a family gathering after three months.
When we have this clear sense of clarity about our character (the inner layer), then trivial digital distractions simply fade away from our horizons. We are only going to be able to do this when we also possess the belief that we can do a task, and this, in turn, starts with practices and habits, as these define what becomes routine in our lives.
If you want to remove distractions from your life and find your purpose and a deeper meaning to your existence, then you will need to first think about altering your practices and habits.