Counselling surrogate mums

Trauma of handing over baby difficult to endure

New Delhi (IANS) When the bundle of surrogate joy is delivered to the biological parents, there is happiness in their eyes. But, for the surrogate mother, it can be a heart-wrenching moment, having to let go of the baby she carried in her womb for nine months.

It is here that counsellors step in to prepare the surrogate for this moment — giving away the baby with the thought that she is doing a good deed, and it is not all about the money.

The new mother has to also go through the t ra uma of s t opping the lactation process, which her body naturally prepares for, by t aking medicines to dry up the milk in her breasts.

Both surrogate and biological mothers have several sessions with counsellors to prepare them psychologically for the process.

Archana Dhawan Bajaj, who runs Nurture IVF Clinic in Naraina, says around 20 sessions are held.

“First, we have to mentally assess whether the woman is fit to be a surrogate and to hand over the baby at the end of nine months,” Dhawan Bajaj said.

“After we have decided on a candidate for surrogacy, we have to mentally prepare her — make her feel she is doing a good thing by carrying someone else’s baby, though she is doing it for money.

“He r s e l f - e s t e e m increases and her involvement rises. She then comes on her own for check-ups.

Depression

“And while she i s handing over the baby she may go t hrough emotional trauma. She will not get an opportunity to breastfeed the baby... medicines are given to stop lactation.”

The biological mother also needs to be medically and mentally prepared.

“She feels ‘I cannot be a mother, I am lacking’, suffers from serious lack of self-esteem, depression, and needs to be counselled at all times,” Dhawan Bajaj said.

Dhawan Bajaj said the surrogate and biological parents are encouraged to meet as often as possible so that they develop a rapport.