It looks not with the eyes...
Time well spent is more precious than gifts, according to readers
have to be expressed in words all the time. It could be things that you do for each other, the way you understand each other — that is a more mature perspective. A couple in a new relationship might want to say more, give more. But when you are into a long-term relationship you don’t always have to say it. I mean, it is nice to hear ‘I love you’ but it is not always necessarily said through words, it is through actions, it could even be a look,” she said.
But even Tanisha Gupta, an Indian senior copywriter in a Dubaibased advertising firm, who has been married for just three years, does not find the need to drop everything to express her love on Valentine’s Day.
“I personally think there are so many other moments that can and should be used, for the expression of love. In fact, even just the start of a weekend, when you get to spend some quality time with your loved one, becomes a chance to express your love.”
Making amends
What the day does offer, according to her, is a way to make amends. “It’s the perfect opportunity for people who usually forget special occasions, to make up for it.”
And this opportunity can come at quite a cost. A billion-dollar industry has been built around Valentine’s Day.
The same study by the National Retail Federation also found that US residents will spend $18.2 billion (Dh66.85 billion) on Valentine’s Day this year.
If that seems like a lot, you should know that this is less than what they spent last year. In 2016, Valentine’s Day spending reached an all-time high of $19.7 billion (Dh72.36 billion).
The pressure of a dozen long-stem red roses, teddy bears or heart-shaped balloons can get too much for even the most expressive personalities.
Introverts, then, have a much harder time coping with it.
According to a study by US-based mental health social network PsychCentral, extroverts are charged by people, places and stimuli outside of them. But introverts get their energy from within.
Ashwin Fernandes, a social media executive based in Dubai, saw that his introverted friends preferred not to emerge on Valentine’s Day at all.
“The day puts a lot of pressure on extroverts, let alone introverts. So they prefer to express their affection on another day that’s free of all the expectations and hype. Having to arrange a restaurant reservation, get chocolates, teddy bears and so on — it makes it so much harder! Even on a regular basis, introverts wouldn’t be expressing themselves with things like this, so on Valentine’s Day, they don’t want to go out or get involved with the festivities at all.”
Also, for many residents in the UAE who come from various cultures, spending so much money and effort on the idea of love makes little sense.
Ksenya Prekovic, who has been married for 16 years, does not celebrate the day as it is not part of the culture in her home country of Croatia.
However, she highlighted the need to express love in whichever way a person might be comfortable.
“I don’t believe in buying gifts to show love. Instead, it is about spending time doing what you both enjoy and sometimes it’s about striking a compromise to do something the other person would prefer, for example playing a game or sport you don’t normally enjoy.
“It is more about that and sharing moments together rather than buying an expensive gift just to show off. Other people have a different understanding of what love is and whatever you find to be the expression of love, you should do that and tell them why they are important to you,” she said.
Omar Abu Omar, a Jordanian who works in digital marketing in Dubai, feels occasions such as these should be considered “just another day”.
He said: “Days like Valentine’s or Father’s Day, and so on, are really overrated. Of course, it’s nice to express your love for someone, but why only on this day? I think people place too much value on it.”
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