Relationships
With the number of hours that people spend in the workplace, it is not unlikely to grow closer to coworkers, forming friendships — or romantic relationship. And while it may seem like a perfect situation where two people who are romantically involved get a chance to work in the same place and can be together almost all the time, there are many drawbacks for office romances — whether they work out or not.
This is not to say you should resist a promising relationship, but handling this budding relationship with awareness and maturity is important to maintain your professional standing and, in some cases, save your job.
It is also important that you realise that any distractions in the office, even happy ones, are eventually going to cause concerns. So keep these points in mind.
To tell or not to tell
The question depends on how serious the relationship is. If it is too early to even know if there is a sustainable relationship or not, telling coworkers and supervisors doesn’t make sense. Being discreet for a while until you see how things pan out may be the best route. And it may be a good idea to communicate this to the other party.
If you have close coworkers who are likely to notice the change or pick on the vibes, you may play down the relationship for a while until you’re sure, as well. Don’t lie, but try to avoid the discussion or just clearly say that you’re not ready to talk about this topic.
Meanwhile, if your relationship seems solid and heading to a future commitment, telling others can be a good disclosure. While it is always nice to communicate good news, try to keep sharing to the minimum and state the relationship as a matter of fact. Remember, that is not a matter that requires a companywide email. Tell only those who need to know because of their personal relationship with you or work requirements.
Respect confidentiality Think of the optics
People develop their perceptions based on what they see. If the two of you are taking every single free moment to spend together, coworkers may note the change and begin to doubt your focus and professionalism, even though you’re not wasting work hours. That is why you must try to keep the time spent together to the minimum while you’re on duty.
In addition, if you and your potential partner are working in the same department or the same team, make sure that there is not suspicion of favouritism or preferential treatment. In fact, this may be good time to consider how to avoid working so closely together, especially if one of you reports to the other. All eyes will be on you two, so make sure that you’re very conscious of anything that might be taken the wrong way.
The more relaxed you two get together, it is likely that you will be talking more about business on your own time. It could be easy to blur the lines of confidentiality as you find it awkward to refuse divulging information in an open conversation. This approach could lead to many troubles, however. First, if the information is leaked to others, you will be in an awkward situation with your significant person. Second, if the relationship doesn’t work out, you will have to trust this person to keep quiet.
A rule of thumb is to keep business as separate as possible to avoid dire consequences. Use your best judgement — even if you’re blinded by love — to respect your non-disclosure agreements. And you also should not be seeking information that you know could compromise the other person’s work obligations.
Some workplaces have clear directions on how to handle situations like that where conflicts of interest or confidentiality may be at stake. If you’re in a bigger organisation, it may be wise to inquire about these channels. But do so only if a budding relationship seems to have a long-term potential.