Make time for your children
PSYCHOLOGIST WARNS OF LONG-TERM IMPLICATIONS OF PARENTS NOT SPENDING ENOUGH QUALITY TIME WITH CHILDREN
Psychologist warns of long-term implications of parents not spending enough quality time with children
O ne-third of parents in the UAE spend as little as five hours a week or less with their family, reports a recent study.
Commissioned by Majid Al Futtaim, the study showed that residents do not prioritise enough quality time with their family. At the same time, this admission comes with a realisation: four-fifths (81 per cent) of people surveyed agreed that they need to prioritise more time for the people they love.
The consequences of parents spending less time with children are so well documented that one would wonder why parents still commit this omission. Gulf News spoke with Dr Rose Logan, consultant psychologist at The Lighthouse Arabia, to know why parental inattention is so harsh on children.
“Research suggests that the first three years of life are the most influenced and that the relationships and experiences a child has during that time lay down the [emotional/psychological] foundation for a lifetime,” said Dr Logan. “That is not to say that there are no other important phases in a child’s development.”
Among the main consequences of the lack of parental attention in the early years is the effect it can have on the formation of secure attachments, Dr Logan said. In fact, it can also affect the way the attention-lacking child will parent his or her own children, she added.
Extended parental absences in early years can also lead to weaker bonds between the child and the parent.
When children are older, and parental absence continues, especially in times of transitions like adolescence, the child may strive to seek attention and approval, which can lead to increased stress and pressure on them.
“They will learn to reach out to other people or sources for this support, further weakening the parent-child bond.” This could also help usher in unwanted influences on the child, she said, such as pushing these children to obtain values and morals from outsiders.
“Children are likely to become disengaged from family life and will form their own moral compass around information and experiences that they encounter outside the family, including online,” said Dr Logan.
“Children are able to access inappropriate material and research is clear that this can affect behaviour, social relationships and in the case of pornography, [possibly] be the start of a lifelong sex addiction.”
Dr Logan also refers to the need for parents to temper the role of media influences in their child’s life. “The media often portrays an unrealistic expectation of life to a highly impressionable audience. [If there is no parental buffer], children may come to hold unreasonable aspirations which can lead them to feel flawed and inadequate. It is easy for this to turn into clinically diagnosed issues such as eating disorders, depression and anxiety.”