Mad? No, you have a brain tumour!
No doctor could pinpoint her illness, and she thought it was all her fault
For two years, I thought I was going through a progressive nervous breakdown. I couldn’t understand why, but the signs were very clearly pointing at a deteriorating neurological condition, which was showing no signs of abating. I was crying all the time, I couldn’t take any stress, I would fly off the handle at the drop of a hat — dark times. It didn’t help that an aunt was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s around the same time (you can imagine). While in the throes of that suffering, I had no idea that in actual fact I had a brain tumour, which was causing severe physiological and psychological disorders in me. It was as simple as that. I wasn’t going mad. I just had a condition that doctors couldn’t put a finger on.
1. You have lost your balance
One major contributor to the feeling of ‘I’m losing it’ was the loss of my balance. Can you imagine going through the day feeling like you have just stepped off of a merry-go-round? It’s no fun. I can tell you now that if this ever happens to you at 40, or thereabouts, get a brain MRI. It’s not normal to lose your balance suddenly.
2. Your ears feel blocked all the time
No amount of swallowing or chewing gum could rid me of the feeling that my ears needed to be ‘popped’ — or unclogged. This feeling was constant. It exacerbated every time I felt overwhelmed — which was also very often. The simple explanation is that people suffering from hydrocephalus — excessive fluid build-up in the brain — experience aural fullness, ringing in the ears and low frequency hearing loss.
3. You feel dizzy and get severe headaches in the sun
I hid this from my family for the longest time. In fact I doubt they will ever know the full extent of my suffering because of my embarrassment to admit what was going on with me. Blinding, incapacitating headaches became a thing. Hydrocephalus, also called ‘water on the brain’, is a condition in which there is an abnormal build-up of cerebrospinal fluid in the cavities (ventricles) of the brain. The build-up is often caused by an obstruction which prevents proper fluid drainage. The fluid build-up can raise intracranial pressure inside the skull, which compresses surrounding brain tissue, possibly causing progressive enlargement of the head, convulsions and brain damage. Hydrocephalus can be fatal if left untreated. Symptoms of hydrocephalus in young and middle-aged adults include: Chronic headaches Loss of coordination Gait change Bladder problems Vision problems Poor memory Difficulty concentrating The damage to the brain can cause headaches, vomiting, blurred vision, cognitive problems and walking difficulties.
4. You feel overwhelmed and emotional
Because I had gone through a mild bout of Post Natal Depression after my firstborn, feeling weepy was a familiar territory which didn’t raise many alarm bells. I was also at a period when I had recently quit a job (along with a business partnership), was struggling to find new employment and had just turned 40. I truly believed that the reason I felt so run down and unable to cope was because my life was well and truly miserable. Not true.
5. You have bladder issues
I wet my pants all the time. On the bed. In the car. When I sneezed. It was crazy. I thought I had old women problems. Which of course made absolute sense since I had just turned 40! Wrong, wrong, wrong. Urinary incontinence — I found out later — is another very obvious symptom of something not being right in your brain.
6. You are afraid of heights
For a lover of rides this should have been a clear giveaway that something has shifted in my mind and body. I would shiver and shake at extreme heights and really fast rides. If you haven’t ever suffered vertigo before, this is a very clear
7. You can’t stand sudden loud noises
Not many kids would know what mysophonia means. My kids do. My intolerance of sound and especially sudden noises had grown so extreme that I started studying this disorder and explaining to my kids (when I could manage it) what it implied. Which is to say I had to give them reasons why any and every sound they (children aged 8 and 12) made around the house made me react so adversely.
8. You have become impatient and short-tempered
I was a menace to my family. Totally broken. Totally unwell. Totally angry. I felt so unfixable. According to the medical fraternity vision problems, poor memory and difficulty concentrating are the other telltale signs to look out for in a brain condition of this kind. I was in an agitated state almost all of the time for a good 2 years.
Finally, I forced an ENT specialist to order a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) of the brain. A hyperintense lesion (tumour) measuring 13.6 x 11.2mm was detected. In other words: Bingo!
An Endoscopic Third Ventriculostomy (a slightly tricky brain surgery) was performed within a few days and I’m happy to report that things are back to normal.
The reader is a mother of two, works in the advertising industry and is based in Dubai.
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Tawam Hospital