Gulf News

Give them reasons, not just instructio­ns

- From Mr Mohammad Al Attar Senior project manager living in Dubai

Old school parenting depended on fear of the unknown. They told children to be afraid of the bogeyman because it will come and take you or eat you. Similarly, children were told of many dangers.

Today, children can get more informatio­n and have a lot more knowledge than I would have gotten as a child. The “I told you, so you have to listen” style cannot work without giving children a reason. With greater exposure and more knowledge, I can be more informed as a parent and have more certainty and my approach with handling children would also be different — more transparen­cy and more friendship mixed with parenting and less of the “I told you so” approach. I think that has made us better parents. My daughters are eight- and tenyear-olds and I always explain things to them. So, when they have a problem or have done something wrong, they don’t need to lie or be afraid of me. Tell me, I’ll help you solve the problem. When you provide reasons for them and treat them as smart human beings, they appreciate it. It will help you build bridges of trust and hopefully it pays off well.

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