‘I LET THE PEOPLE I LOVE GIVE ME ANXIETY’

Iam lucky enough not to suffer from anxiety every day. I am lucky that I can go out by myself, meet people at parties. I speak up at work and I give my opinions with family. When I am with friends, I’m usually happy and comfortable. I believe that is when I am the happiest, if I’m being honest. That said, my anxiety comes from specific people in my life. People who mean a lot to me.

All it takes is one comment from them, or for them to pull away or become distant, even unintentionally, to turn my entire mood around. After reading a book about the science of adult attachment, I learned that I am, what you would call, an ‘anxious attached’ person, which means that I thrive off supportive relationships that are stable and long lasting. And certain people that I love, intensify my worries instead of pacifying them.

So when they are in a terrible mood, it becomes contagious and I become affected by their negativity until I myself start to feel down and uncomfortable. What is the one thing that would make me feel better? When they are better again.

Because my mood influencers are still an important part of my life, I can’t actually completely pull away. I just distract myself with work.”

For years, I have allowed myself to go through life dwelling and letting these people ruin my mood and give me anxiety. Because my mood influencers are still an important part of my life, I can’t actually completely pull away. I just distract myself with work. Engaging in new activities sends feel-good hormones to your brain that make you feel happier.

Finally, treat yourself the way you want to be treated. Don’t bring yourself down, walk away from disrespect and think of yourself as the most important person in your life. If only I would take my own advice.