IF YOU’RE AN ADULT

Don’t hold out the bowl saying: “Just take one.” Polite children will know to take one and be offended, impolite children are going to take loads anyway, and it just makes you sound tight.

Don’t don’t don’t — this is really key — leave your pumpkin lit if you’ve run out of sweets.

Don’t do anything too frightening, for instance, open the door but have a friend hiding behind a bush making noises like a murderer. You will know it’s too frightening if children are crying by the time they leave.

Otherwise, the universal rule is that if you’re done by 8.30pm, realistically, how

much can go wrong? — Guardian News & Media Ltd