‘...Babies aren’t allowed to cry for more than five minutes on this flight’

Afive-minute crying rule? Now, does that really work? While parents often have a tough time managing restless toddlers on a flight, the task can get more challenging with newborns and months-old babies.

Take the case of Krupa Patel Bala. She flew from Sydney to San Francisco on United Airlines with her husband and baby son and when he began crying soon after take-off, a cabin crew member confronted her and said that her infant’s behaviour was “absolutely unacceptable”. The crew member claimed that babies weren’t allowed to cry for more than five minutes on United flights, Bala says.

“Parents of newborns have it hard enough already travelling with a baby,” said Bala, who works for Facebook. “We certainly don’t need crew managers piling on when we are doing our best to ensure we’re containing our children and their cries.”

Bala used the onboard internet to post her experience to Facebook. By the time her family landed in San Francisco, United was ready with an apology and a full refund. But the incident also underscored the unpleasant fact that no matter how you look at it, air travel with babies is a challenge for everyone — including parents, other passengers and crew members.

THUMB RULES TO FOLLOW:

1 First, buy an extra seat: You’ll need the extra space, and bringing the car seat on board will also make the trip safer for your offspring, experts say. “Typically a child is more comfortable in their own seat instead of being constantly readjusted in a parent’s lap,” says Ashanti Woods, an attending pediatrician at Mercy Medical Center in Baltimore.

2 Clean diaper and comfy clothes:

Alexandra Fung, a mother of three and CEO of the parenting advice website Upparent.com, has a routine for every flight. Before boarding, she makes sure her baby has a clean diaper and comfortable clothes that are easy to change, and is looking forward to the next meal. “Nurse or bottle-feed during takeoff, as the swallowing motion will help with any discomfort from the pressure change, and a comfortable and well-fed baby might just spend the next couple of hours sleeping,” she advises.

3 Cute dresses and earplugs: How can a parent deal with annoyed passengers? Experts say there are at least two schools of thought. Some say you should dress your baby in cute clothes to endear them to other passengers and hand out earplugs and treats with an “I’m sorry about my baby” note attached. Others subscribe to the “deal with it” philosophy: Just apologise if your baby cries too much and move on.

“Here’s a tip for those who are travelling next to someone with a baby, especially next to a solo traveller,” says expert Trish McDermott. “Ask how you can help. Simply offering to hold a baby for five minutes so Mom or Dad can take a restroom break, or reaching over to pick up a fallen item that a parent can’t reach, can be a game-changer on a long flight. Sometimes it takes a village to get a family with young children through a flight.”

4 Be an aware parent: Crew members have mixed feelings about babies on board. They want to welcome all passengers and make them as comfortable as possible. And privately, they often confess that young children aren’t their biggest problem; it’s their adult travel companions, especially new parents who tend to make a lot of mistakes. The errors include being ridiculously unprepared, acting as if any advice they receive is “baby-hating” or “mum-shaming”, and not knowing what to do with diapers.

5 Know the diaper change etiquette: “Most narrow-body airplane lavatories are in the galley where food and beverages are served,” explains Susan Fogwell, a flight attendant. “For sanitary purposes, the lavatory door should not remain open when a diaper is changed. Some people think it’s a two-person operation to change a diaper and will leave the lavatory door open while the other person — the helper — is standing at the entrance to the lavatory.”

She suggests that parents travelling with babies pack a sealable plastic bag. When they’re done with a diaper change, they can seal the diaper in a plastic bag and dispose it of quickly.

6 Read the rules: Most airlines post a simple guide on their websites that covers seats, strollers and carry-on allowances for families. You wouldn’t know how to handle diaper changes unless you asked. Even then, you might not get a consistent answer.

That’s because when it comes to flying with babies, it’s not clear what the rules are — or whether there are any.

“Enforcement of them varies widely, not only from airline to airline, but from staff member to staff member,” says an expert.