Online relationships can create imaginary intimacy

Virtual relationships accelerate normal intimacy. A new couple can message each other all day, sharing thoughts, feelings and experiences that normally take several in-person meetings and connection to establish. People lose their inhibitions and can engineer a rhythm and intensity of connection that may not even be possible in real life. We often can appear brighter, wittier, more optimistic and interesting when we use words and messages to convey who and what we are.

In real life, we develop a muscle for being in ‘relationship discomfort’ and understand that everything cannot be solved with the press of a button. Virtual partners can react badly and have greatly exaggerated reactions when reality intrudes and they cannot have what they want. They have not spent any time or effort building resilience for struggle.

While in the virtual world, a certain behavioural and moral code may be entirely acceptable, but it isn’t always mirrored in the real world.

From Dr Tara Wyne Clinical psychologist working in Dubai