Why Covid-19 has made me crave solitude
Bindu Rai, Entertainment Editor
It took me seven attempts to write this piece. All while waging a battle to avoid being drawn into the latest office gossip, while lunch menus were being discussed overhead.
Solitude, how I crave it. Life during the peak of a pandemic-enforced restriction was hard for many, separated from loved ones while facing their darkest fears trapped in the confines of four walls.
Yet, pregnant with twins and stuck at home with my husband for months, there was still a strange, but comforting routine that had entered our lives. When the babies came home, the bubble increased just enough to include them and a nanny who would take charge when the work mode switched on.
The new normal, however, was shattered when our time in solitary confinement was up.
It’s been two months, three weeks and five days since I’ve returned to the office and as much as I love my colleagues, I fear Covid-19 has turned me into a secret introvert, trapped in an extrovert’s body.
Lockdown loneliness is perhaps the technical phrase for this but when have I ever conformed to textbook reasoning?
Struggling with this conscious awakening of new personality trait, I pushed the boundaries of my own making and decided to go out on the town with my girlfriends one night. Sitting in front of the mirror while my mind drew up its own pros and cons list, I heaved a sigh of resignation that there was perhaps some truth to that fact that I was struggling to reintegrate into society.
For someone who has battled depression in her lifetime, it is important to recognise the thin line between isolation and loneliness. Social behaviour can be adjusted but finding yourself alone in a crowd is perhaps something that requires further reflection.
As the discussion over ‘Mandi Mondays’ heats up at the office, I look around in exasperation but find myself laughing a little louder every day.
It’s been two months, three weeks and five days since I’ve returned to the office and as much as I love my colleagues, I fear Covid-19 has turned me into a secret introvert, trapped in an extrovert’s body.”