How I overcame my addiction to anger

AJAY ABRAHAM DE MELO, Night Editor

Anger is more than an emotion; it’s an addiction. A shy and timid child bullied through school and junior college, anger seemed a saviour in my teens, driving me to act against my oppressors. But my life soon became a saga of minor provocations leading to physical violence. The turning point came in 2017 when I was home in Goa on my annual vacation. I had a heated argument with my brother — a trivial issue complicated by inflated egos and past resentment — and we came to blows. It took my mother to separate us. How she did it, I do not know, but I am grateful. We as a family never talk about that dark day.

My brother and I did not speak to each other for over a year. I am now 40 and he is 38. Our wives and the birth of his daughter bridged the chasm. The key to anger management is selfawareness. Today, I anticipate ‘trigger situations’ and think logically. Self-deprecating jokes, breathing exercises and weight training have also helped. I have learned to forgive and forget.