RAISING A NAUGHTY KID INTO WELL-BEHAVED TEENAGER

Psychologists offer insights and tips for growth

Have you ever felt embarrassed by something your child did in a social setting? I have, more than once. One of the regular talks I have with my nine-year-old is about how he needs to stop himself from saying things aloud thoughtlessly or acting out defiantly in a group setting.

Don’t get me wrong, he is not a mean or difficult child. However, there are times when I see streaks of bratty behaviour, and I find myself looking for parenting tips to ensure he does not grow up to be an illmannered teenager.

I asked two UAE-based mental health experts to find out what the red flags are, where I could go wrong as a parent, and tips to help my child during his preteens, so that he becomes a well-behaved teenager.

So why do children act out during their preteens?

Speaking to Gulf News , Dr Gopika Govindan, Clinical Director and Clinical Psychologist at a paediatric rehabilitation centre in Dubai, explained: “During a child’s preadolescence phase, many physical, cognitive, social and environmental changes can have an impact on behaviour.

“The prefrontal cortex of the brain is developing. However, the centres in the brain responsible for impulse control, judgement, decision making and executive functions such as planning, organisation, time management, ability to foresee consequences of their actions are not fully developed.”

Ups and downs

Hence, it is common to have emotional dysregulation during preadolescence and adolescence stage. Dr Waleed Ahmed, Consultant Psychiatrist, Priory Wellbeing Centre, Abu Dhabi added: “There is no need to feel helpless and stare at a fatalistic future living with a seemingly broody, emotionally dysregulated adolescent. There are some steps you can take as a parent, when your child is growing, to minimise the potentially bumpy ride ahead.”

Address the behaviour early on. Dr Govindan said: “Early intervention is paramount for the development of children into healthy, happy adults. Early intervention is early identification of a problem behaviour and seeking treatment for the same at an early stage.”

Remember however, Dr Govindan added: “Dysfunctional maladaptive behaviours are not solely linked to upbringing or parenting. There are biological, psychological, social and environmental factors that contributes to your child’s behaviour in different settings, such as home, school and community. “Some children may also have a strong genetic predisposition, while some may have a neglectful, dysfunctional family environment that leads to problematic behaviours.

“Parents have to investigate the reasons of why their child is bratty. They may also need to consult a child psychologist to understand effective parenting strategies.”

Specialist support

You might need additional help if you notice:

■ Extreme mood swings that last for over two weeks.

■ Getting into frequent arguments with parents, teachers and friends.

■ Excessive fear of being judged that the child does not want to go outside.

■ Difficulty in following a daily routine.

■ Excessive focus on body image and appearance.