Why do intelligent people battle low self-esteem?

People with impostor syndrome believe they’ve tricked everyone

It’s ironic: You would think that highly intelligent people might be confident to the point of being arrogant. Kellie Dane, a Dubai-based British expat, would beg to differ. Her daughter has always been hailed as something of a “genius child”, from school to college. However, none of her achievements ever felt good enough to her. When she was 26, it took hospital visits for Dane to realise the pressure of the tag. “She fell very ill while preparing for her PhD (doctoral) applications. She had to be hospitalised. After that, we just ensured that she took a break from work, her academics, and just focused on recovering and took a year off. In that time, she finally allowed herself to live as herself,” says Dane.

In pursuit of perfection

As Ilan Ben-Zion, a clinical psychologist, and the cofounder of Connect Psychology in Dubai, explains that struggles with self-esteem is a shared human experience. “While each person faces unique challenges, people with high intelligence are often perceived to grapple with specific issues related to their self-esteem,” he adds.

The heightened cognitive abilities that are associated with intelligence, compel people to establish exceptionally high standards for themselves, he says. “This makes the fear of failure even more daunting. It could potentially paralyse them from fully pursuing personal and professional development, hindering growth. This constant pursuit of perfection could lead to a pervasive sense of anxiety and selfdoubt,” he says.

On the other hand, Nashwa Tantawy, a psychologist and managing director of Nafsology Psychology Center, Dubai, explains the possible reasons for low self-esteem in an intelligent person. She believes that it could have begun in childhood itself. “They might have faced some sort of isolation from others; they could have been classified as nerds, or mocked for being close to teachers,” she says.

While each person faces unique challenges, people with high intelligence are often perceived to grapple with specific issues related to their self-esteem.”

Ilan Ben-Zion | Clinical psychologist

[Highly-intelligent people] might have faced some sort of isolation from others; they could have been classified as nerds, or mocked for being close to teachers.”

Nashwa Tantawy | Psychologist

Social anxiety

These children would have played by the rules, which would not have been acceptable by the peers. As a result, the constant scrutiny and possible mockery would have encouraged the onset of social anxiety, says Tantawy. Moreover, there would have been more pressure from parents, who would have pushed their child to study harder. Finally, the child turns into a perfectionist, where they question everything and nothing seems good enough.

A note from a class ‘nerd’

It took Abu Dhabi-based Saturupa Burma, an Indian homemaker, several years to be proud of her ‘nerd’ label. Now, she wears the badge like an honour.

“I’m a nerd, and I’ve always been one. I am 32 now, but if you had met me 10 years ago, I would never have accepted it. I would have possibly cried a little too,” she says with a laugh. Burma recalls how she was always first in class, could easily solve complicated mathematical problems, when others couldn’t. “My classmates hated me for it. They tried all sorts of things to discourage me from doing my homework, and to get me into trouble with teachers. Believe me, I’ve had my notebooks thrown out of the window. I was often told to, ‘Just forget my homework for one day’,” she says.

The impostor syndrome

I got a glowing appraisal. But soon they’ll realise they were wrong. If that’s your recurring inner monologue, you might have a case of impostor’s syndrome. The term is exactly as it sounds — a person believes that their achievements are a fraud and fear that someone will call them out for inadequacy, which they feel is the truth.

“The impostor syndrome is particularly prevalent among people with high levels of intelligence,” adds Ben-Zion. “This leads to heightened vulnerability, as they worry that they will be ‘found out’. It can generate a constant state of anxiety and undermine their confidence in life,” he says.

The warning signs

Even though they have proved that they are indeed competent, they’re hindered by a sense of inadequacy, explains Ramya Menon, an Abu Dhabi-based psychologist.

The warning signs lie in the details, explains Menon. Such people with high intelligence would keep focusing on their flaws, feel that there is something ‘strange’ about them, doubt their own skills and downplay it. They could also have fewer friends, as they suffer from social anxiety.

How to fight it

“It is exhausting, trying to fight it, no doubt. First acknowledge it, say the experts. List down the evidence where you think that you are inadequate, says Menon. “You also need to break free of the constant cycles of negativity in your head. Talk to someone, or write it down,” she says.

You can also follow the SBNRR technique, as detailed by American psychology medical blog, Better Up.

Stop: Allow yourself to stop in your tracks and take a moment to pause.

Breathe: Give yourself a deep breath and let your thoughts go and not be attached to them.

Notice: Notice your feelings, your body, your surroundings, your peers, the situation, your reaction, and anything else that you can notice.

Reassess: Evaluate the situation and the reason you felt a need to fall into the impostor syndrome.

Respond: React intentionally. It can be more informed and composed now that you have calmed yourself a bit.