Let’s stop pretending like status symbols are the worst thing
Be honest. Ask yourself whether you judge people by their Emirates Hills address or their fancy paperweights and pens that cost more than cars. And if you do judge, that’s on you, not them
If something truly gets a bad rap it is the chase for status symbols. Even as we deny it, we spend our lives running after them and seeing them as aspirational. Each one, collected with the enthusiasm of children collecting shells on a beach, enhances our self-worth and makes us feel good because even the envy we wish to generate has a certain spiciness to it. It is wonderful to be humble when you are flinging symbols of your status in someone’s face.
Seeing that nearly all of us are into this hurtle to show off our possessions contrary to the stance we take of ‘material things don’t count’. Why the double standard? Status symbols are fun. Status symbols make us push ourselves to greater heights of achievement so if they act as a spur why mock them even as we pursue them.
There is tremendous hypocrisy in the way we mock those who show off and make snide remarks when they are out of hearing and do exactly the same ourselves.
I was at a dinner the other day and someone was badmouthing the ostentation of a friend (?) who had bought a yacht and they were laughing about his foolishness. My argument: if you can afford it, knock yourself out. Makes no impact on whether we will be friends or not if you have a yacht or a ketch or a burnt out slipper.
The problem arises only because we use these symbols to measure a person’s worth. Then these ‘things’ begin to count. Why blame the collector? You want to engage in social worship and dredge for virtue just because he or she has a net value that is your weakness not theirs.
In ancient days people used symbols to send out a message. Whether it was uniforms, medallions, clothes or headgear, they were indicative of stature. The hierarchy was formed around these accoutrements of office. Nothing has changed. Now, we do it with cars, houses, bank accounts, club memberships and whatever else, but the aim is the same. To communicate a message. We are at the top of the totem pole and you are not.
Ironically, most of us if interviewed, would cheerfully denounce this materialistic attitude where affluence and virtue are seen as identical twins. And then we would totally subscribe to it. You are a better man than I am, Gunga Din, in reverse.
Ask yourself how you respond to the stranger in your midst. You sneak a peek at his watch. You ask his address. He answers Emirates Hills in that fey ‘no big deal’ fashion. Women are very adept at sussing out other women. Is the handbag for real? Are those Jimmy Choos? Hmmm, that’s a big diamond and the pearls are not paste. Luggage, cufflinks, suits, dark glasses, they are all weapons in the game. The battle for superiority has been enjoined. What car did he come in? Do they have a Husain on their walls? Lovely home, lovely people.
The equation is so created, in our minds, by ourselves. Even in the workplace there are giveaways not always subtle. The pen that is worth half a car. The Fabergé egg used as a paperweight. The first class tickets for all the family subtly made global on Facebook, oh we do this every day, we have arrived.
You haven’t. Just because we corrupt it as receivers, as owners and as salivating witnesses, does not make the purchase of the best of life wrong. If you have it, flaunt it too if you like, but you are still the same person. If you are a kind, gentle, polite soul, the opulence will still leave you a good, kind and polite soul with generosity to boot.
If you are a mean, ornery hostile personality, you will be just that whether you are on a bicycle or a Lamborghini.
Notice that I did not employ the word ‘simple.’ Because faux simplicity is downright annoying. If you are a multimillionaire, you don’t have to wear torn clothes or spray piety because your audience is in thrall since you are its paymaster.
Because we have a skewed way of looking at things, status symbols are seen in negative light.
How else would you mark your lift to success? You need physical manifestations, as far as you are not rubbing the world’s nose in your good fortune or putting yourself into deep debt to maintain an image that is actually hollow and see-through. The only one you are hurting when you run on empty is yourself. Acting rich is what sociologists call ‘silly poor people’ who play ‘let’s pretend’ because they find great comfort in belonging to a certain strata and want membership of that exclusive club. They also believe that if they project a charade they will go up the pecking order. Playing golf or bridge or emulating a sporty style because the aspirant group does it, then becomes an imperative. Even the children are forced into the game. Riding lessons (you’ll meet the right kind of people), learn ballet, let’s go to the opera.
Perhaps things are not the only status symbols. What about ourselves? A well-built healthy person goes this quotation, is a status symbol unto himself. You worked hard for it, no money can buy it. You cannot borrow it or steal it or take it on loan. You cannot inherit it or hold on to it without constant effort. It shows discipline, self respect, patience, work ethic and passion. Now that’s an aspiration.
We use symbols to measure a person’s worth. Then these ‘things’ begin to count. Why blame the collector? You want to engage in social worship and dredge for virtue just because he or she has a net value, that is your weakness not theirs.