Smile at strangers, will you? God knows we need it and so do they
There should be some sort of rule to extend common courtesies. Without the rules, nobody or their aunt could be bothered to be pleasant. And why must we live our days all grumpy and scowling at the world?
Do you sport a cheesy grin or a stifffaced scowl when out in public? I often find myself forcefully ordering friends to “smile, and say thanks” when interacting with strangers — or in any situation where basic politeness is required. But why should I have to urge grown ups to show a bit of courtesy? Aside from potentially earning myself the title of ‘nag’, I’m sick of prodding people into action. Surely manners should be commonplace? It’s something I’ve noticed lacking in several cities, and at the risk of sounding like that stiff-faced grump mentioned above, it really gets my blood boiling.
I pulled up to a petrol station the other day and as I sat in the queue waiting to have my car filled, I couldn’t help but feel pity for the attendant flitting from car to car, pumping gas. That’s because I noticed he wasn’t smiling — and no one was smiling at him. He looked miserable.
As the car windows played out the same routine of going up and down (only when necessary), the only sign of interaction between attendant and driver was the exchange of card or cash, not smiles or words. It was sad to see.
About 10 minutes later as I pulled up — window already down — I greeted the man with a smile. He greeted me back with the same, and it instantly filled me with warmth. He wasn’t the miserable sod I thought he was; he was just waiting for someone to show him a bit of gratitude. Like a puppy excited for a bit of attention; it was endearing. This is likely a man working a 12-hour shift, seven days a week, filling hundreds of cars on a daily
basis, but I imagine only 10 per
cent of those customers are the cheesy grin-type. The remaining 90 per cent probably reciprocate with emotionless grunts, if even that. I just wish people smiled more.
In fact, countless research has revealed that these tiny gestures can make people feel more connected. And in a world where personal connections are steadily being diluted by digital addiction, why aren’t we making more of an effort?
I had to laugh the other day when a friend — who’s only been in Dubai for two months — recounted the humorous reaction from people on the metro when he asked them how they were.
“I may as well have committed daylight robbery by the way they instantly backed away from me,” he said. And my reply was a sad realisation of how we’ve come to be a society freaked out by pleasantries. “You’ll get used to it.”
But why should we get used to it? That friend comes from a small farming community in the North of England, so a hop on the metro and a polite “hello” was normal behaviour for him,
but that’s not the case in big cities. We may be a metropolis, but our manners stink. I don’t know if it’s a citywide trend, but I do know we could all learn a lesson or two from the small town folk on how to, well, just be nice.
If there isn’t anything particularly happy-making going on in our vicinity, that doesn’t mean our faces have to be a mask of tetchiness.
I’m not saying we have to parade around with sickly grins on our faces morning, noon and night, but next time you’re walking about, give a passerby a smile; or a nod, at least. Because I bet you any money when they mirror it back, that will make a more regular appearance on that resting b**ch face you’re currently sporting. kelly@khaleejtimes.com