Khaleej Times

Texting is an escape route for cowards. Can we at least call?

We don’t call to cancel a plan — we text. We don’t call to express regret — we text. Weaseling out of engagement­s has never been this easy. Our face-to-face interactio­ns dip as our cowardice grows

- Bikram Vohra letters@khaleejtim­es.com Bikram is former editor of KT. Everyday humour is his forte

We are no longer up close and personal. On the contrary, we have so effectivel­y learnt to duck the person and the issue by hiding behind the crumbling concrete of social platforms. Texting is killing the one thing that made us different from other forms of human life… the ability to express ourselves in speech.

It is also an escape route so no one notices our inadequaci­es.

A generation ago people spoke to one another, and even if they were in your face, the element of benign confrontat­ion called for a certain honesty and transparen­cy. It also required effort. You had to look the other person in the eye. That meant something and strengthen­ed character. Face to face.

Now, we wallow in rank cowardice. Just use the keyboard to send out our messages of deceit. Sorry, can’t make it tonight, something came up. Was trying to get in touch with you, your phone was busy. Got a touch of the flu, plan cancelled. Will get back to you. Can I call you later? Am in a meeting. A snowfall of nothingnes­s and as fluffy and lacking in substance as a flake. Melting away into a trickle. Truth be told, texting has become our refuge because we can now say things long distance we would be afraid to express in person or have now become incapable of doing so. This is actually false courage and we never really feel good about it but we do it because it is so much easier and not demanding.

The fallback on messaging is also easier because it is bland. There is no risk of the quiver in the voice, no blatant blink of the eye if you were in the presence of the other person; you lie with dexterity and a complete lack of conscience.

And get out of the commitment with increasing­ly diminishin­g guilt.

As our own self-assurance drops and we lose the stamina and ability to engage in more meaningful and deep verbal interactio­n with the human race the habit becomes an addiction. Emotions are soon compressed into ten words and we are well on the way to becoming cerebral midgets wherein we like to avoid all awkward situations or those that demand effort from us.

The sloth permeates our value system. This laziness allows us to avoid the unpleasant, the awkward, and the difficult. So, if someone dies, it is easier to say RIP than call and express regret. Most of us have lost the ability to be graceful. Grief and commiserat­ion are perfect examples of how swiftly we have lost the knack for in-depth conversati­on.

Too tough to call, what will I say, poor thing, let’s send a ‘msg instd.’ By the same token, good things are also given short shrift. We find it tough to pick

The sloth permeates our value system. This laziness allows us to avoid the unpleasant, the awkward, and the difficult. It’s easier to say RIP than call and express regret. up the phone and say, “hey, happy birthday’ so we sullenly send a message that says, “Hpy bday” and think we have done our bit. Ironically, the mobile phone, which is now a fifth limb and an extension of the human body, is fine for texting but a sort of a half-foe when it comes to talking on it. We are more reluctant by the day. Now, that we know who is on the other end there is even more reason to avoid that person.

Think of it. It must rank as incredible stupidity that two human beings can engage in an exchange of 50 plus messages to and fro over half-an-hour even though they are five kilometres apart and could meet up and chat in minutes.

Yet, several million individual­s not merely two, do exactly this every day.

It is all a bit pathetic really but this surrender of relationsh­ips is now endemic. The average adult looks at or engages his phone between 80 and 150 times a day, of which the least exercise is taking a call or making it.

Only 15 per cent roughly is the making or receiving of calls. The rest is texting.

Between whatsapp, emails and texting options, the capacity to talk is going the way of the clumsiness that marks most people’s writing.

Human frailty is part of the reason for this attitude and as we become more unsure of ourselves and our interactiv­e abilities atrophy, we will become more insular and withdrawn and our eloquence shall fracture. Both are endangered species. The impersonal friendship spawned in the ether or the iCloud as one might refer to it is testament to how swiftly we are plummeting down the hill.

Ask yourself a few questions. When was the last time you wrote a proper letter or received one? Do you really think that 140 letters with spacing is the extent of your world and that this is enough? Would you like your life to be a tweet and all you do in it as brief and fleeting? Did you share a sadness in a friend’s life by sending a cold play message of no real meaning because calling and talking would need effort?

Do you think texting is a warm and fuzzy convenienc­e or an act of supreme rudeness and a total lack of affection? We won’t like the answers.

As you lose the art of conversati­on, you gradually begin to discover you are groping for articulati­on. Then you gather speed and find you cannot even engage in basic verbal courtesies.

Perilously close to dumb animals.

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