Kerala expats take anti-dowry vow
dubai — Kerala has a unique demography — the number of females exceeds male population — but many Malayali females cannot find life partners due to dowry system, which makes marriage an expensive affair for many families.
While the state with a large chunk of expatriate population is often a host to posh and expensive marriages, a number of families cannot meet the bare minimum expenses for a marriage. As against posh NRI Bollywood style weddings that cost around Rs550 million, many families cannot afford Rs60,000 needed for an ordinary wedding.
A number of Keralite expatriates in the UAE and other GCC countries joined hands to launch a movement against dowry and are now ready to accept a poor bride. The Islamic marriage tradition dictates that the groom’s family give mehr to the bride’s family in order to marry her, but even among Kerala Muslims, it is the other way round and the bride’s family is made to pay hefty dowry.
Dowry related problems are reported from all over India and in Kerala too the issue has been a serious one in recent years. Many families have become bankrupt after pompous weddings — giving away kilograms of gold, and millions as dowry.
A new movement against the evils of dowry system is gaining momentum in Kerala. In the last one year, a new group has been spreading this message through social media, campus meetings and public awareness campaigns throughout the state and abroad. Its repercussions are visible in the UAE as well.
In Dubai, P C George, member of Kerala legislative assembly, has unveiled a list of 101 eligible women hailing from poor families who cannot afford to pay hefty dowry and need life partners who do not demand dowry. Dubai-based Indian businessman, Thameem Aboobaker, has come forward to sponsor the marriage of 10 poor Kerala women by giving each of them Rs60,000, enough to buy new wedding dress, sandals, 16 grams gold ornament etc. “Mangalya Safalyam 2017 is an ambitious project to facilitate the marriage of 1,001 poor women and many youngsters, including NRIs have come forward to take part in the movement,” George said.
“Even though there are 1,084 women for every 1,000 males, the number of unmarried women remains high as many families cannot afford to give dowry.
“In Malappuram or Kasargodu bordering Karnataka, bridegrooms from neighbouring states marry Kerala women,” said Sudheer Abdul Khader, president of SRS (Sthreedhana Rahitha Samooham – society without dowry). He said a random survey in Malappuram district alone showed that over 2,000 women are divorced in the name of dowry after which these middleaged woman face bleak future.
Faisal Babu Kuttippuram, UAE president, SRS, Arshad Thiruvananthapuram, UAE secretary, Gafoor Palakkad, Kunjumon Moidekkattu, Sameer Tirur, Faisal Kozhikkottu and Shanawas Tiruvananthapuram are SRS members from the UAE who have not only vowed to campaign against dowry, but even offered to repay the dowry that they took years back.
George said many well-wishers are willing to help poor unmarried Malayali women. Special counselling campaigns are being planned as part of the movement against dowry. They have also vowed to conduct simple marriages and to skip luxury weddings.
“The movement against dowry is important for the betterment of Kerala society. There are many poor families who cannot afford to pay heavy dowry and women in these families remain unmarried. The Kerala youth and NRIs have to reject this evil practice and marry without taking dowry,” George said in Dubai, while releasing the first list of 100 brides selected from poor families. Fight against the evil of dowry has been part of the social reform movement in Kerala, but in recent years, the problem has become more serious — number of suicides, crimes and divorces related to dowry are on the rise. In 2016, Kerala police reported 24 suicides or murders for dowry-related reasons. Women face physical, mental torture from greedy husbands and in-laws who often demand more cash, jewellery, cars, etc as dowry.
“Many NRKs have come forward to get married without taking dowry. About 10 youngsters, who are office bearers of SRS, have already vowed to marry without dowry. Abdul Rauf, an Indian driver in Saudi Arabia, is now giving back Rs100,000 and 25 sovereigns of gold that he took as dowry several years ago. Ismail Koyakutty said his son Shanavas and daughter Amina are getting married without taking or giving dowry. Abdul Gafoor’s twins Shifa and Nasreen are also getting married without giving dowry. “In my neighbourhood there are families with five female members in their late thirties who remain unmarried because their family is poor.”
“We have been conducting an awareness campaign in 14 districts of Kerala and GCC countries to encourage youngsters to come forward against the dowry system and marry poor women,” George said. The state has earlier witnessed many marriage frauds, but the new group will be transparent in their operations, assured George.