Get off your phone! We’re on vacation

We don’t know about you, with your need to constantly see who’s posting what on Instagram and FB, but this one vacay to the mountains went off without a glitch. Wi-Fi enabled digital detox can be fun, after all.

Avacation without gadgets. You must be joking. For a week at least? Possible, this writer believed. Leave it all behind and take a trip left to one’s own devices — go with the flow kind of stuff in some country; any country, only that it didn’t have to be the home country. Monsoons lash India this time of the year and all manner of bugs abound there, I consoled myself. What’s making it worse is that there’s a medical strike ravaging God’s Own Country — nurses are on the warpath for higher wages, according to reports.

There’s also the bumpy flight during the rainy reason — turbulence on the way home is not good for my insides as I have a fear of flying. I was making heavy weather of it in my head. Moreover, the folks didn’t seem keen to have the family over for the rains and watch the stream filling up and gushing through the fields near our house. ‘There’s nothing that you haven’t seen that you will enjoy this time. I’m busy with my social media life. Mom’s a serial troller on TV,’ was the subtle message from dad. ‘Send the kids instead. You stay put in Dubai, or go West.’

So West it was from Dubai, a three-hour flight away. Eastern Europe to be precise; erstwhile Soviet Union. It reminded me of the Beatles jingle ‘Back in the USSR’. With Russian President Vladmir Putin making a partial comeback in Georgia — a former socialist Republic — capitalists like me decided not to do anything smart in the Caucasus. Lying low was key as the Kremlin was making its presence felt in South Ossetia and Abkhazia, two former Georgian provinces annexed by Russia. But enough of geography and modern history, it would be quiet contemplation without smartphones and pads for me. I deserved to be free of data while I roamed in flight mode for a week. Touching and feeling nature topped the agenda. The Georgian countryside is gorgeous I had read online before boarding the flight to Tbilisi. Sleep, perfect sleep. This should be fun.

But the missus had other plans as she was busy checking Google maps on places to visit from the moment we touched down in the Georgian capital. The place looked like they were just setting things up. “It’s better to know where we’re going,” she said, as we hit the road. Giorgi our guide knew where he was headed to even if we didn’t. His halting English may have slowed down the conversation a bit. Though Georgian, Russian was his forte. He was picking up English after joining a three-month course, I gathered.

Google the omnipresent showed up again on the road... a 30-minute drive to our destination, a former ‘ducha’ on the outskirts of town. This was it. Digital detox in a ducha, with a Russian sauna tucked in. It had a nice ring to it. Just what the doctor ordered for a journalist struggling with the uncertainties of a digital-first life. I was wrong.

Wi-Fi is free and the whole family can use it without device restrictions, proclaimed David, the front-desk guy when we checked in. He faltered with his English but what helped was his ability to explain everything online on the hotel’s website. Tours, facilities, the works. The family was relieved. It didn’t matter to me because I was firm on switching off my phone. It came to life only later in the evening to take emergency calls from my parents who are not exactly in the pink of health.

A ducha? It may have been one in the Soviet era. That was some 25 years ago. They now call it a villa, or simply a large house in Georgia. David’s clarification on my temporary abode didn’t lift my spirits. Luka, the owner’s son, confirmed David’s theory. His dad was not a Russian nobleman. An oligarch, maybe? Definitely not. With the ducha gone out of the vacation, I swore to keep the digital reality out. This holiday was already looking flaky with Wi-Fi technology in tow.

I realised it was a losing battle from the start when the three tablets were put away in the locker in the room. “How do you expect to keep the kids busy on the flight and in the evenings here. I’ve also brought your Kindle along,” said the better half. I hadn’t factored in e-books. Then there were the latest episodes of House of Cards which we had vowed to watch together. There would be no cheating like the previous seasons when I had watched alone and she was all lonesome and taking care of the kids during holidays in India.

The Underwoods on Netflix can wait till we reach Dubai, I bellowed as we headed for the woods of Georgia. The air was refreshing, the sights amazing. Wild country tours, walking tours, wine trips and museum visits — all planned on the Net. Local news in English was hard to find. I researched, again on the web, to find out that an English newspaper was only published twice a week. How do I keep track of what’s happening in the world, my world of information? Information on the weather — mostly sunny with a small chance of rain — was gleaned online to ensure we packed right for day trips. I even traded my smartphone for a digital camera!

We extended our stay in the country by two days. It was done online, I must confess. Cash withdrawals in the local currency were from ATMs. Credit card scanning was the rage for other payments. Yes, RFID tags are the norm – swiping is passe. The only non-electronic consolation was that I paid the hotel bills for the extra two days in cash. I managed to stay off social media (we don’t post happy family pictures in any case, so you won’t know where we have been.)

Was it worth it? Indeed. The convenience of technology was fine; the electronic connectivity was great, and the vacation went off without a glitch. allan@khaleejtimes.com Allan is a news junkie. He loves a good debate

It was a losing battle from the start when the three tablets were put away... “How did you expect to keep the kids busy on the flight and in the evening here,” said the better half. I hadn’t factored in e-books. Then there was

House of Cards we had vowed to watch together. There would be no cheating like the previous seasons.