Pointing fingers is easy. Try to walk in their shoes instead
A line will be drawn ten years after a toddler disappeared, and funds for a search will be closed. Where does that leave the parents who not only lost a child, but continue to be publicly vilified?
It’s been more than 10 years since threeyear-old British toddler Madeleine McCann disappeared from a holiday apartment in Portugal. And since then, the spotlight has remained on her parents, Gerry and Kate. But it’s not been 10 years of sympathy or support for the couple. Instead, for the majority, they have become the object of hatred and anger. But why?
The circumstances surrounding this disappearance were always going to be suspect. That’s because when Kate and Gerry decided to go public in a bid to find their daughter, they offered up one piece of information that turned a large portion of the British public against them.
At first, the appeal played out like any other missing child case. Looking clearly distressed, hearts across the country broke as two parents relayed the moments when a family holiday turned into their worst nightmare. Madeleine was there one minute and gone the next. The nation sympathised; it stood up to try and help.
But then came the news that saw many baying for the blood of the McCanns. Madeleine had gone missing while the couple was having dinner about 50 metres from the apartment in which she slept.
This was information they willingly gave up to help support the investigation. Their thought process… honesty would help aid the investigation; it would help find their girl. But Madeleine is still missing; she hasn’t been found and now all eyes continue to be on Kate and Gerry McCann.
They have been judged, ridiculed and spat upon by the British public. They became the ‘reckless’ parents who saw it fit to leave three children under the age of three, home alone, in a foreign country. It was their fault; they were to blame.
But maybe it’s time we start judging such parents a little less. Yes, leaving the kids alone may have ultimately led to the little girl’s disappearance, but she is ever-present in the public consciousness; and she is everpresent in her parents’ conscience too. So, do people need to continuously goad them?
This vanishing is without doubt one of the most publicised missing person’s cases of our time. And once again it has been shoved back into the spotlight as funding for the 10-year-long investigation is set to run out.
So far, 11 million government-funded pounds have been spent on the investigation. After being re-opened in 2011 at the request of then-prime minister David Cameron, ‘Operation Grange’ is set to expire at the end of this month.
But yet again, fresh jibes have begun to rear their ugly heads, and the McCann’s are front-and-centre, not Madeleine.
Trolls have taken to social media to express outrage at the money spent on finding the missing girl. But where is the human heart here? It appears that has gone missing too.
Whether Kate and Gerry are partly to blame for Madeleine’s disappearance or not, she is still missing; she hasn’t been found.
But if hope still prevails for the McCann’s and the police, then isn’t that enough to warrant this?
I came across one article the other day which read: “The only people who should be embarrassed are those who sneer that there should be some kind of cap on the amount of sympathy, or a time limit placed on a parent’s hope.” And I couldn’t agree more.
The tables need to be turned. And the vilifying needs to stop. The McCanns will live with their guilt for the rest of their lives. The couple did not strong-arm the police into spending £11m on finding their daughter. The people that presume that need a reality check. Life does not work in that way. Scotland Yard itself said officers were still pursuing the investigation due to “critical leads”.
But it’s as if the public feel compelled to demonise parents of missing children in a bid to reassure themselves that they would never be so feckless. This could never happen to them because they’re ‘good’ parents. But that self-reassurance is so misplaced and misdirected. And it’s parents like the McCanns that are bearing the brunt of it.
Another article I read recently summed up my thoughts towards this whole, tragic unfolding. “The thing all parents dread, the McCanns experienced,” it read. And sadly, like me, this writer fears that we will never quite understand why people see it fit to bay for the blood of grief-stricken parents — even ones like the McCanns — who, fecklessly or not, made the mistake of admitting their wrongdoings on the night their Madeleine went missing.
To this day, the couple’s ill fortune has seen them become the object of hate and contempt, when perhaps they could use some empathy. So to me, the spotlight here needs to be turned on the very nation dishing out this abuse.
Kelly covers education. She finds it endearing that people call her Kel